Many relationships develop in college, and many of them are platonic. Of these, still more are destined to turn from being platonic to a more serious and intimate relationship. Something my UGA Erica refers to as a "very special friend." Well, whatever you might call that state, making the transition to it can be difficult.
I recently had a friend seek my advice on making the transition. One of the most difficult maneuvers in any relationship, the transition usually takes one of two forms. One method is to let events take their course and to hope that by the time June of senior year rolls around, the relationship will have progressed enough that a painless changeover can be made.
There are two drawbacks to this method. One is that it takes time, a lot of time. Plus, if nothing ends up happening, that time suddenly becomes wasted time. It could be argued that if the former interest somehow morphs into a genuine friend that the time is not wasted, but once your interest in a person has developed, the road back is very hard to find.
The other obvious drawback is that unless the object of interest is the goddess of love, eyes have a tendency to wander. So the love of your life today may be just another pretty face in the crowd by next month (or in the case of some tomorrow). In any case, by the time the transition can be safely made, the desire for the transition may be gone.
There is another method, reserved almost exclusively for the well endowed. This is the direct approach. I have to say that from my own perspective this is the best way to go about making the transition for a few reasons.
I employ the great Band-Aid analogy yet again: the faster you pull it off, the less it hurts. The point being, it is much worse to get turned down after months of chasing than to be turned down after a couple of days worth of flirting. Beyond that, if you don't get dinged, then those months of effort have been saved, and may now be diverted to other matters, much more deserving of your attentions.
But maybe I was being too hasty in advocating that route. After all, the thrill of the hunt is part of the prize. What fun would it be to just ask someone what they think about you at the beginning? None! It's much better to take part in the adventure of the pre-relationship chase than to just plunge into a relationship full force. Besides, all that chasing does allow for getting to know the person much better, which is always a good thing. You don't want to dive in head first without knowing what the waters are like.
However you might do it, I offer a word of warning. Realize that if every member of the opposite sex that you encounter is a potential love-interest, then you are eliminating half the student body from the pool of potential friends that are out there.
Of course, as a member of the freshmen class, I have to admit that I spent a good deal of time thumbing through the 'shmenu. There is always an initial curiosity about the people that comprise a class, but now that I have settled in, that initial scoping has subsided.
With each passing week, I search more for friends; any relationship that is going to happen will happen on its own. The initial interest in the rest of the class has worn off somewhat, now I have to get to know them.
