A bridge to the 21st century. Since this year's Democratic National Convention, I've been trying to figure out what this phrase means.
I understand President Clinton's strategy. Bob Dole during his acceptance speech for the Republican nomination down in San Diego used a similar phrase when he announced he wanted to build a bridge to the virtuous past. Clinton believes America's best days are ahead while Dole believes American's best days were during his previous failed runs for the Presidency in 1988 and 1980.
But what confounds me is the metaphor of the bridge. What hazardous impediment are we trying to cross?
Now that Clinton has been re-elected for another four years, I've tried to decipher what he means, what two points he's trying to connect, and what dangerous impasse he is trying to traverse.
However, after analyzing Clinton's promises for his next term (targeted tax cut, "Mend it, don't end it," policy on affirmative action, FDA regulation of tobacco, reforming welfare reform, etc.), one could understand where the obstacle might lie -- the Republican control of Congress and the Senate.
The president needs to build a bridge over the Republican control of Capital Hill, but as the current democracy set up as a system of checks and balances, overriding the Republicans might be deemed unconstitutional by the Supreme Court.
And with several hearings all lined up by Al D'Amato in his search for the truth in the White House (more Whitewatergate, F.B.I. Filegate, Huanggate, etc.), certainly Clinton wants to build a bridge over the media-shy senator from New York.
Unfortunately, I'm really reaching here.
Instead, I've realized that Clinton is actually literally talking about a bridge.
In fact, he got his idea before Dole even mentioned the word.
The origin of the phrase dates back to the Dartmouth Commencement in June of 1995. Clinton traveled over the dilapidated Ledyard Bridge, and realized in order for the nation to continue its economic boom, all the bridges that connect this country of ours need to be updated by the turn of the century.
But Clinton isn't just talking about structural improvements, he wants all the bridges to be accessible not only to cars and pedestrians, but also to the Internet (much like his campaign pledge to have all school hooked up to the Internet by the year 2000).
These are the bridges of the future -- the bridges to the 21st that Clinton keeps on repeating like a scratched CD, and many might not know this, but Ledyard is the prototype for the bridge of the millennium.
The designers want the bridge to be on the cutting edge of technology for all who use it.
Cars that use the bridge will be on auto-pilot. Ledyard will control a car much like those drive-through car washes. Automobiles will finally live up to their name as passengers can just sit back, relax, and scan the Web.
For Pedestrians, a moving sidewalk like those in airports will allow for comfort while searching the Web.
However, runners who take Ledyard to Vermont or New Hampshire for a daily five mile run, don't get the pleasure of running on moving sidewalks for safety reason, but in order to surf the Web, several treadmills will be available.
The designers haven't forgotten about other athletes: Bicyclists will ride through a separate tube that will be wind free and have screens on the walls in order to gaze at the Web.
A chronograph will be installed on the side of the bridge for crew races, and times will instantly be posted on the Web.
The Web will also link diving judges from all over the globe to score jumps off the bridge. (Scores will be based on water temperature, how many or how little clothes the jumper wears, time of the dive, and proximity of the nearest police officer.)
The problem is where to get money for the project. Congress continues to gut the Federal government while elected officials promise to maintain the current tax rate, so the Bridge to the 21st Century Fund is almost non-existent.
The chances of seeing one of these bridges built is greater than Clinton reforming welfare reform.
As for now, the president's main project is to have virtual reality stations in every school by 2010. Children can experience what it is like to be on the Mayflower or the space shuttle or dissect frogs without the smell.
The president is currently testing this virtual reality system in the White House. He sees himself with a Democrat Congress, Democrat Senate, universal health care, and the only on-going investigation focuses around Newt Gingrich.
"Hey, Kenneth Starr isn't supposed to be in this scene!"
