Lookingat the glass-encased area near the front entrance of the Hopkins Center from a distance, one can see a crowded ensemble of pure white garments hanging as if on a line to dry. As one gets closer to the exhibit, the appearance of spotlessness is violently disturbed by blood-red spatters. To signify marriage, words from a marriage ceremony are placed on the exhibit's glass circumference, ". . . in sickness and in health, to have and to hold . . ." The juxtaposition of this sacred compact and vivid evidence of its rupture, domestic violence, is nothing short of jarring.
The issue of domestic violence is grave indeed, and like the exhibit, can rarely be apprehended from a distance. The message of the exhibit is that the silent scourge of domestic violence undermines the protective citadel of the family unit. Denial of the existence or prevalence of domestic violence is often the case, mostly due to its hidden nature.
However, we must realize that it is easier to fight an enemy that we know. For this reason, the Hop exhibit should be disturbing on another level. Viewers of this exhibit may be saddled with a very incomplete understanding of the nature of domestic violence, particularly as it is manifested in marriage, as opposed to other forms of societal or "familial" organization. By unveiling the affliction of domestic violence, we can begin to combat it. We must foster open discussion with regard to the truth of how and in what situations domestic violence occurs.
On the most simple level, we can see that domestic violence is not limited to any particular situation at all, and occurs among married couples, unmarried heterosexual couples, as well as homosexual couples, whether male or female, and other pairings which exist in today's society. We must distinguish the rate of domestic violence in a marriage as opposed to other arrangements in order to assess the Hop exhibit.
A small exhibit cannot focus attention on the multitude of "partnerships" which exist in reality and still make an impact on the viewer. The Hop exhibit leaves the viewer with a heightened impression of the bitter violence and passion inherent in domestic violence. The impact would not have been as significant if the marriage bond were not included. The viewer would not stand exposed if the message did not strike out at the very foundation of society.
Domestic violence occurs in marriages. This is not denied. On the other hand, domestic violence occurs among unmarried couples, whether heterosexual or homosexual. This is very often ignored. While the rate of married domestic violence is often exaggerated, scant attention is paid to other forms of domestic violence. As Thomas Sowell notes in his book "The Vision of the Anointed," "alarmist stories in the media about domestic violence often lump together husbands and boyfriends as 'partners' who batter women, when in fact a woman who heads her own household is nearly three times as likely to be beaten as a wife is . . . in other words, the traditional family is the safest setting for a woman."
All acknowledge that there is no such thing as perfect safety. To the extent that domestic violence occurs in marriage, it should be exposed and confronted. It must also be put in perspective. Not much is heard of the fact that, according to Sowell, "the rate of violence among lesbians living together [is] about the same as in heterosexual relationships . . . men tend to assault one another more often than they assault women."
When one notes that the least likely of all victims is a wife, this reflects a fact which can be empirically ascertained. The "traditional family" is much safer than any "non-traditional" arrangement. This fact is artfully sidestepped in the Hop exhibit. Yet one may legitimately believe that this very fact is willfully ignored in policy discussion in a wider context.
Noting that the traditional family is the safest setting as far as domestic violence is concerned in no way minimizes the harsh reality of domestic violence, which cuts across all social boundaries. Additionally, this realization helps to further expose the "hidden" nature of domestic violence and advance the ways in which we can face it.
