Eric Marcus, co-author of Greg Louganis' biography "Breaking the Silence," said at a Saturday night speech that stereotypes about homosexuals will continue to exist until gays, lesbians and bisexuals become more publicly open with their sexuality.
"By keeping secrets, we don't give those around us a chance to change and deny those who are like us a chance to know there are others like us," Marcus said.
Marcus was scheduled to deliver a lecture titled, "Secrets: Why We Keep Them and How They Hurt Us," to an audience in 105 Dartmouth. But Marcus chose to change the format of the evening into an open discussion with the approximately 60 audience members.
Marcus said being open about one's sexuality is sometimes as difficult as keeping it a secret.
"Sometimes I find it very difficult to be out," Marcus said. "You have to keep on doing it and explaining it to everyone."
Marcus said the chance to co-author a book with Louganis immediately appealed to him because it was the story of an American hero coming to grips with his sexuality.
"Greg had a terrible fear of being rejected by the public," Marcus said.
Louganis won four gold medals during his career as an Olympic diver. In 1988, Louganis hit his head on the diving board while competing in the 1988 Olympics. After receiving stitches, Louganis came back and won the gold medal in the event.
In his book co-written with Marcus, Louganis admitted he is homosexual and had contracted the human immunodeficiencyvirus from his lover. HIV is the virus that leads to the AIDS. Louganis also admitted in the book that he was HIV-positive when he competed in the 1988 Olympics.
"It takes an amazing man to be HIV-positive, compete in the Olympics and win two gold medals," he said. "To me, that said 'Gay people have guts.'"
When audience members questioned Marcus about the naive way in which Louganis is presented in the book, Marcus said Louganis lived a difficult life.
Marcus said Louganis suffered from severe dyslexia since childhood, as well as later problems with drugs and alcohol. Louganis was also involved in abusive relationships with both his father and his lover, Marcus added.
To escape from all his problems, Louganis focused solely on his diving, Marcus said. As a result, Louganis grew distant from the world around him.
"To me, it was absolutely stunning that someone could reach age 35 and not know some of the basics of life," Marcus said.
Marcus said honesty is important to changing stereotypes about socially unacceptable issues.
He told the audience about a taxi driver who asked Marcus if he was married. Faced with the dilemma of being honest and possibly facing rejection or lying, Marcus said he told the man he was gay.
After the initial surprise, the taxi driver then began to question Marcus about his life-style, Marcus said. By the end of the trip, the taxi driver had asked Marcus numerous questions about homosexuality.
"The nicest thing about being out is that I can be myself. I don't always have to be watching," he said. "Keeping those secrets became a physical burden and I felt I had the weight of the world on my shoulders."
Later, Marcus and the audience discussed why people keep secrets.
"Some of the reasons we keep secrets are fear of rejection, fear of being cutoff, we might loose financial or emotional support," Marcus said. "We also keep secrets because we're embarrassed or ashamed."
Marcus also revealed what he called "personal secrets," such as the suicide of his father and his Jewish heritage.
Marcus discussed another personal experience, telling his grandmother that he was gay, to demonstrate the difficulty of keeping personal information from loved ones.
While Marcus's family asked him to keep the truth from her, he said he decided he must tell his grandmother about his homosexual life-styles.
Following the initial shock of hearing he was gay, his grandmother has now begun to accept his life-style and that his honesty with her has created a new, special relationship between the two of them, Marcus said.
The program was cosponsored by the Carpenter Foundation and the Dartmouth Area Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Organization.
