This is not a pipe dream. It's a Green Key manifesto. Roll away ...A solar eclipse, people wearing shorts, rumors about cancelled classes. What's up? Oh yeah, it's Green Key. So I'm chillin' at home when I am asked if I could write an editorial on Green Key. "Green Key?" I ask. "You can't put that into words, man." I wasn't sure what to say.
I try to explain Green Key to freshmen, but it's impossible to explain the "chill aspect."
"Is it just another weekend for frat parties down in the depths of the basement?" they ask. No man, it's more than that. Hanover thaws, boots are replaced by Tevas, hell, even The Review cats have been known to quit their bickering. At least that's what I heard.
Green Key. Mellow. This is a crucial aspect. Last year it began when The Meters played on Phi Delt's front lawn and everyone was there just hangin', talkin'. Outside.
This ain't Homecoming when a bunch of old drunk alums storm the campus. Bonfires are built -- or destroyed -- by some crazy inter-class rivalry. Hell, there isn't even a sporting event to get wound up in.
It certainly isn't Winter Carnival. Let's face it, if there's one weekend that people just hole up and drink, it's Carnival. I ain't passin' judgement, that's just the deal. The problem is that Carnival is based on the premise of some crazy festivities. Poorly attended, little impact.
But Green Key ... yeah, it's just chill. So we're oustide. Gotta be doin' somethin'. Music. Bands rule Green Key. Thursday ... Cracker. On the weekend, Skabooda, Bitter Squash, Grandma Groove -- they're all chillin'. Even that crazy country band's gonna be hangin' on the Green. That's where it's at.
You don't have to run from house to house because you're freezing like at Carnival. The atmosphere is casual. There are bands inside, bands outside morning, noon and night.
So we've got outside. We've got bands. What else? People. Included in all this rebelry are tons o' cats. Sure we have classes on Friday, but as soon as noon time rolls around, the Green is packed.
Class in the morning can suck. But Green Key Friday brings a new meaning to Dartmouth. Classes fly by and then lunchtime comes. Light fare, just enough to be carried on the underside of a frisbee. Where to? The Green.
Why the Green? Tons of stuff on the Green. Dunk tank to slop that guy who plays his crappy music too loudly. And that crazy big moonwalk contraption. It'll be just as crowded as the solar eclipse -- almost.
What's that, you've had enough? Enough of this crazy rambling? Work, term papers, reading, finals, jobs after graduation? Chill! That's what Green Key is for. Stop, relax and smell the ... well, smell whatever you want.
I guess you get the jist of it -- Green Key is for relaxing. Too often at this school, we are so busy worrying about working hard and playing hard, that we never do either with any efficiency. Green Key completely interrupts this whole joke and jams things into perspective.
So with this tirade ended, let's all hang back, listen to the music and chill ...
