As senior year continues to hurtle rapidly by, I have been thinking a lot about our fleeting youth. I think many of my fellow '94s have been thinking about this too, as a number of them last term told me of their own desire to be a 'shmen again. Although at times I still do feel very young, I thought I would share some things that make me feel extremely old.
You know you're getting old when you go to see "Wayne's World II," and the rest of the audience looks like they should not even be allowed into a PG-13 movie. Then, in the middle of the Garth-Kim Basinger love scene, when the 14-year old kid in the back yells out "Nipple," it almost doesn't cross your mind that this could be considered funny.
You know you're getting old when everyone from the Boy Scouts selling Christmas wreaths to the guy who pumps your gas to the checkout lady at the grocery store calls you "ma'am."
You know you're getting old when the bulk of your shopping occurs in the Misses' section, not the Juniors'. You know you're getting even older when navy blue, charcoal gray, black, and taupe begin to take over your closet. You know you're getting really old when, like me, you start buying pantyhose in bulk when they are on sale. Has anyone started buying Control Top yet? Scary, but the moment is sure to arrive...
You know you're getting old when your 17-year-old sister tells you repeatedly that "You look thirty!" You know your sister must be right when a man who looks at least that age strikes up a conversation with you in the middle of Grand Central saying that "He just wanted to meet you."
You know you're getting really old when thirty doesn't even seem that old anymore. You know you're definitely getting old when your 17-year old sister's friends seem to look, sound and act like Munchkins.
You know you're getting old when you've done all your reading on time, so you read the front section of "The New York Times" and review your notes before class. However, you know you're still young when you realize that going out on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights is becoming more the norm than the exception.
You know you're getting old when half the books your professors mention in passing you have already read.
You know you're getting old when you go to Murphy's with a friend and she gets proofed, but all the waitress says to you, is, "Can I get you something to drink?" You know you're getting old when you don't get proofed buying beer at Grand Union, or at the bar at Cafe Buon Gustaio or anywhere.
You know you're getting old when you drive around in your mom's car, which has a baby seat in the back - I have a 15-month old sister - and everyone assumes that the kid is yours. You know you're getting older still when you are looking in the baby section and mothers shopping for little boys give you a knowing look and say, "It must be so nice to shop for a little girl..."
You know you're getting old when people start having eighties parties. You know you're getting old when a freshman hands you his ID while you're working at the library, and you think, "Who the heck was born in 1976? Wasn't that the year 'Star Wars' came out?"
You know you're getting old when you think all these things, and then you realize that 'oh my God, I'm only twenty-one. Maybe I'm not so old after all.' But it scares me to wonder what I'll be thinking by the time I'm 30.
Wish me luck. Please.
