Friday the 13th. This is it. I'm just waiting for an errant meteor to strike me down or something. So while I'm waiting, dreading the inevitable bad luck that is sure to come my way, I thought I would try to cheer myself up by thinking about all of the things I'd like to see happen in sports during the next week, next month, or in 10 years time.
I would love to see baseball grow up. The owners need to find a commissioner, implement revenue sharing to help out the smaller markets so a salary cap can finally curb these astronomical salaries, and do everything they can to avoid a Labor Day players' strike that would destroy what is shaping up to be a pennant race for the ages in the American League.
I wish Vince Coleman and Bret Saberhagen would stop acting like two-year-olds playing with their fire crackers and Clorox bleach. And in order to put a halt to such player antics, the league should set a precedent (it's pretty sad that they would be setting a precedent) that it will not tolerate its players endangering the lives of the fans and slap a hefty fine and suspension on Coleman for seriously injuring a 2-year-old little girl.
I would accept a hefty amount of bad fortune today if I were assured that the Red Sox would take the AL East, win the pennant, punish the Giants in the Fall Classic and finally rid themselves of the Curse of the Bambino.
I beg of Jason or whomever's job it is to dish out Friday the 13th misfortunes, to please let the Colorado Rockies finish with a better record than the New York Mets. The Mets are so bad and act like such a bunch of spoiled kids that they absolutely deserve to have the worst record in baseball.
Is there anyone besides me who would like to see Nolan Ryan and George Forman go 15 rounds? I'm putting my money on Ryan, by the way. With the uppercuts he was giving Robin Ventura one week ago he should face the winner of Pernell "Sweet Pea" Whitaker and Julio Cesar Chavez.
I apologize to all the avid golfers out there, but I think golf should no longer be considered a sport. Any game in which a player is able and willing to smoke a cigarette during championship play, like John Daly during a practice round for the PGA Championship this week on the cover of USA Today's sports section yesterday, should be considered a leisure activity and not be taken seriously.
I hate to bring up football, but it is pre-season and there is already a playoff-like atmosphere in Kansas City now that Big Joe is about to make his 10-minute long debut Monday night. All I ask is that the AFC win the Super Bowl this next year. I don't care if it's Jeff George and the Indianapolis Colts (assuming he quits his whining and shows up to camp), but someone has got to stop this NFC domination.
Switching to another type of football, what kind of pain would I have to endure today to be assured that the U.S. will make a decent showing in next summer's World Cup? I just hope the team wins at least one game.
And finally, is it my imagination, or is there really nothing going on in the world of sports right now that's all that important? The lead story in every newspaper and on every sportscast is about a pennant race that won't be wrapped up for another two months! When does college basketball start?
Good luck today, everyone, and be wary of those black cats (especially you, Vince Coleman).
