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Heat. You know it’s hot when the sun is out but the Collis patio is deserted.
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Heat. You know it’s hot when the sun is out but the Collis patio is deserted.
’18 #1 in Astro: “You look like you’re about to boot.” ’18 #2: “Yeah but I took a Sudafed.”
As a ’17 on for this summer term, I’m affectionately referred to as my sorority’s resident SWUG (senior washed up girl). When (and if) I arrive at tails, people look at me with a mixture of excitement and pity. They pat me on the back and say they’re happy to see me, but then turn to continue socializing with their new friends. Meanwhile, I make a beeline for the drinks table, around which I continue to hover for most of the night.
Masters. The big weekend has finally arrived…
’18: “They have adult milkshakes and nice Jewish boys. My two favorite things!!!”
Like the millennials we are, we often turn to Google instead of people in times of need. Our Google search history can always be a little disconcerting, but it’s particularly distinctive over sophomore summer – when else will we be looking up the toxicity of copper mines or wondering how to make homemade mac and cheese bites? Nonetheless, there’s no shame in asking Google silly questions – that’s what it’s there for. Here are ten potential topics you’ve Googled this summer:
Grab your pitchforks and come on down to our warm and exotic location, situated at the mouth of the River Styx, and work for the head honcho himself—Satan! At this competitive internship, you will work with millions of clients buying and selling souls. What could be more valuable? Special guests will eventually include such celebrities as Jordan Belfort and Bernie Madoff. Note: Creativity is a must. Customer service skills not necessary.
Semi season is upon us, which means it’s time to break out the flair. Or at the very least, it means searching through your giant flair box, which is of course full of everything except what you actually need (hence why you're desperately writing out toGroupMe asking friends for help). But if you want to save yourself a trip to Party City, here are a few ideas for semi themes that are fun, easy and super doable:
’18: “Getting the money from suing someone would be nice, but there would just be too much paperwork for it to really be worth it.”
Crossing the X: Last night you were a hero, today you are a zero. Swugdom is only a state of mind.