The Definitive Ranking of PB’s Green Key Concert Options

By Stacy Livingston, The Dartmouth Staff | 1/27/16 6:00am

Hello. It’s me, someone completely unqualified to offer my musical opinion, about to weigh in passionately! My tastes are the only ones that matter, because I am the foremost authority and everything that you listen to or that I haven’t heard is swill.

Here are some other things I might do:


  • Berate anyone with musical preferences different from mine

  • Complain that my favorite artist isn’t on the list of options

  • Look up the price range of my favorite artist and post it on Yik Yak

  • Complain about Programming Board

  • Imply that I would join Programming Board and straighten everything out, if only I had the time

  • Lament the fact that Green Key concerts are “always lame”

  • Suggest that we completely rearrange the budget (which I don’t understand) in order to have a more expensive concert that better caters to me personally

  • Firmly believe that maliciousness and fun-hatred on the behalf of Programming Board is the sole reason we cannot have Adele

  • Compare our spring concert to that of a much larger school

  • Complain about Hanover

  • Try to gloss over the fact that everyone is going to be drunk at this concert and not care, as well as the fact that I once tried to see how many people in the concert crowd I could bite without them noticing



1. The Mowglis


The Jungle Book

2. Elle King



3. X Ambassadors



4. BØRNS



5. Matt + Kim



6. Cash Cash



7. Alessia Cara



8. Hoodie Allen


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9. Rae Sremmurd



10. Coleman Hell



11. Dan + Shay



12. Raury



Stacy Livingston, The Dartmouth Staff