Decoding the Dartmouth dictionary
This article was featured in the 2017 Freshman Issue.
There is something special about attending a college in the middle of nowhere, and that is the pleasure of coming up with words that make no sense in the real world. That is, until you go into the real world and realize that no one understands what a D-Plan is or what you mean when you say that you’ve gotten two frackets stolen at TDX. But don’t fear — the Dartmouth Dictionary is here to help you understand why we need frackets and why warmcuts are important.
If you are A-Side, you are more on the cool side, while B-Side is more on the DL. These terms are mostly used semi-ironically to identify Greek houses.
The newer half of the library. The higher you go, the quieter it gets. It starts with FFB — First-Floor Berry — and goes up four floors to 4FB. Each floor has its own personality. FFB is the Mount Olympus of facetiminess (see below); 2FB is generally more relaxed being home to the Jones Media Center; 3FB is quiet (but somehow there is always that one person who thinks that whispering on 3FB is okay); 4FB is where you go when you actually need to study without having to glare at a whispering neighbor.
Blitz (noun, verb|blɪts):
A blitz is an email. The name is a reference to Dartmouth’s old email system, BlitzMail. A flitz is just a flirty blitz. You can be as cheesy as you want in your email, whether that be by inserting cute puppy gifs and sonnets or simply inviting your crush from your math class out for coffee at Dirt Cowboy Café.
A portmanteau of “Baker,” as in the older half of the library, and “lobby.” Features black and white tiles and tall ceilings. Expect high traffic during all hours, especially when the second KAF window is open.
Dark Side/Light Side/Upstairs Foco (noun|dɑrk saɪd/laɪt saɪd/əpˈstɛrz foʊkoʊ):
To some, where you sit in Foco reflects your personality. Dark side is where you can find athletes and facetimey folk, while light side is home to NARPs. (See NARP for reference.) Upstairs is for the non-facetimey people who just want to eat their food in a quieter environment.
Someone who purposefully studies in or frequents high-traffic areas such as Blobby or FFB to socialize while doing “work.” It’s that one friend who seems to be part of everything and know everyone. If you don’t know this person, it’s probably you.
Never, ever wear a nice jacket out to a frat party. It will probably get stolen by some drunk person who got their own jacket stolen, or who just realized how cold it is outside. Instead, invest in a cheap “frat jacket” — a fracket. It’s not unusual to see brightly-colored frackets with people’s names written on them, so they can be easily identified from a mile away.
Golden Treed (verb|ˈgoʊldən trid):
You’ve been golden treed if you have failed to hit any of your opponent’s cups in a game of pong. There’s also a silver tree, where you hit at least one cup but fail to completely empty any (by sinking the ball into the cup). Honestly, there’s a good chance this will happen the first time you play.
Short for one hundred percent. “Are you going out tonight?” “Hundo-p.”
A class that is supposedly “easy” compared to the average class at Dartmouth. However, don’t always trust what you hear — taking classes for how “easy” they might be even if you aren’t interested in the topic may not be as fun as you imagine.
“Non-athletic regular person.” Anyone who isn’t on a varsity sports team and doesn’t own a DP2 shirt qualifies as a NARP.
NRO (noun|ɛn ar o):
Non-recording option. If you elect an NRO for a class, you only receive a grade if you score at or above a predefined level (so you can feel safe taking that tough physics course knowing that your grade will only show up if you get a B or better).
You’ve reached the best part of your Dartmouth experience. You had a great time and you think that you will never live in such a great era again. You believe that there is no way for you to relive your freshman year, when everyone loved you and wanted to be your friend. Now you’re stuck in the library trying to learn organic chemistry without staining your textbook with too many tears. It’s all downhill from here.
Self-call (noun|sɛlf kɔl):
Basically a humblebrag. People will call you out for your self-calls, but we say do them anyways.
Short for “cocktails.” A social gathering, often between a fraternity and a sorority or for members of a campus group. People often wear flair and other mismatched, funky clothing. Imagine it’s Halloween every week.
The Dartmouth Seven (noun|ðə dartməθ sɛvən):
Having sex on campus in seven different places: the Top of the Hop, the BEMA, the fifty-yard line, the Green, the Stacks, the steps of Dartmouth Hall and the President’s lawn. Complete at your own risk.
These are the people with whom you go on DOC First-Year Trips. You spend five days with the same people in the woods with no showers, sharing Annie’s Mac and Cheese. Sometimes you love them or sometimes you ignore each other once you’re back on campus.
Hooking up with a trippee/hooking up with a floormate.
Warmcut (noun|wɔrm kət):
Useful during winter. You go into as many buildings as possible as you cross campus to avoid the cold.
@now (adjective|æt naw):
“Immediately,” as in, “Come to Collis @now there are so many cute dogs!!” Often seen in GroupMe messages.
1fp (noun|wən fɔr pɔŋ):
Short for “one for pong.” Usually sent on a Friday or Saturday. Or at any point of the week, honestly.