In the first weeks of fall term, some students stick out like a sore thumb. They also stick together. Of course, many incoming students are well aware of their status as the freshest faces on campus and the de facto “worst class ever,” but regardless of how hard they try to blend in, freshmen just have a certain look in their eye that shouts “Hi I’m a ’19. Please be my friend.” Just in case they don’t know why they are still standing out, we have compiled a list of 19 ways to spot a freshman.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with being naive to some of Dartmouth’s intricacies — it took us years to learn and perfect the jaded look along with the perfect conversation balance of discussing your extracurriculars, thesis research and the occasional night out that show this isn’t your first rodeo. For as much as any Dartmouth student loves to roll their eyes and mutter “Classic freshman” to their friends as they watch these doe-eyed new kids try to understand the Hop menu, the harsh reality is that we were all freshmen at one point or another. Getting used to the College is a time-honored tradition, but that doesn’t mean we won’t call you out when you’re doing something that only a freshman would do.
Just in case they don’t know why they are still standing out, we have compiled a list of 19 ways to spot a freshman. We just hope they remember to wash their “Dartmouth ’19” shirt after the first week.
1. You use the words “Class of 1953 Commons,” “Robinson Hall” and “email.” You think facetime is a feature on your smartphone, and you have no idea what a “flitz” is.
2. You still have to call your mom to figure out how to do laundry... if you can even find the laundry room and figure out which machine is the washer and which is the dryer.
3. The first question you ask when you meet someone is “What is your class year?” Then you tell them you are a ’19. Or worse, you start a conversation with an upperclassmen by asking, “Are you a ’19, too?”
4. You only walk around in a group of five or more people, a.k.a. “shmobbing.”
5. Your cover photo is Baker Tower. Your profile picture is of you standing in front of Dartmouth Hall. Your most recently tagged photos are from Trips.
6. Not only are you both pre-med and engineering, but you’re also considering a double minor in economics and government. You talk about how excited you are to be involved in Model U.N., a cappella, First-Year Fellows and five dozen other activities whose names you can’t remember that you signed up for during the activity fair.
7. You don’t know the difference between Baker and Berry — or FFB and Baker 1 for that matter.
8. You eat three meals a day at FoCo and love it. You get at least two cookies and a bowl for your dipping milk at each meal.
9. You study in the 1902 room — or the Tower Room if you feel like mixing it up.
11. Your Dartmouth ID is predominantly placed on your lanyard and the photo is still unscathed. Honestly, the lanyard alone is enough.
12. You go to all of your floor meetings and BFABs.
13. You try to take a picture with Keggy the Keg or the Dart Moose. Do it anyways, and send it to your parents. They will love it.
14. You have Trips songs stuck in your head and think that people are Salty Dog Ragging at the fraternities you cannot enter.
15. Your wardrobe is primarily Dartmouth apparel and your bean boots are still shiny. Your “winter” coat is a black North Face fleece, which you will mistakenly lose in a matter of days, if not hours.
17. You don’t know what the Sun God is (or Carol Folt or Jim Yong Kim or Alpha Delta).
18. You haven’t completed any of the Dartmouth Seven or the Ledyard Challenge (hopefully), but you probably committed either “floorcest” or “tripcest.”
19. You get lost everywhere you go and might feel awkward and anonymous as you cross the Green full of unfamiliar faces, but even though the upperclassmen call you the worst class ever, they are secretly jealous that have you still have four awesome years ahead of you to make Dartmouth your home.
