The AFC Championship pits the favored Denver Broncos against the Pittsburgh Steelers (Sun., 3 p.m.). In the NFC Championship, the Seattle Seahawks square off against the Carolina Panthers (Sun., 6 p.m.).
Most professional sports previews and predictions in The Dartmouth are either stupid or cut and pasted from CBS Sportsline.
So, in the spirit of originality, we're going to plagiarize ESPN instead, by simulating this week's playoff games using Madden NFL 2006 on Microsoft Xbox in order to determine which teams will collide in the Super Bowl.
To tell you the truth, at first, we thought this was a dumb idea. That all changed, however, the first weekend back at Dartmouth this term.
That Sunday marked the one-year anniversary of one of our buddies with his girlfriend, and their anniversary dinner plans conflicted with a divisional playoff game.
He was bummed. We told him to dump his girlfriend in order to watch the game, and, like an idiot, he said no. He told us that it would be bad timing to dump her because she had a tough week of SAT prep and would flip out.
So, we cheered him up by simulating the game on Xbox to give him a feel for what the game would be like.
The simulation accurately predicted not only the eventual winner, but also the point spread and the over/under.
When he got back from the date, his stomach was in agony from the Taco Bell, but he was amazed that the simulation worked.
We then tried the Madden simulation again for last weekend's games and it perfectly predicted the results again.
This week, we're taking our NFL game simulations to the press in order to give campus sports wagerers an edge in determining how to place their bets for this weekend's games. Enjoy.
Denver Broncos vs. Pittsburgh Steelers
The first two quarters were a defensive struggle until Denver went up on a 48-yard Jason Elam field goal with four minutes left in the half.
Then, following a Pittsburgh three-and-out, Denver drove the field again, with a drive that culminated in a two-yard touchdown strike by quarterback Jake Plummer to wide receiver Ashley Lelie, making the score 10-0.
Down 10 points, the Steelers finally showed signs of life in the early minutes of the third, when quarterback Ben Roethlisberger threw a 62-yard bomb to wide receiver Hines Ward down to the Denver four-yard line. Running back Jerome Bettis then pounded it in for the touchdown, cutting Denver's lead to 10-7.
On the first play of the next drive, however, Plummer retaliated, completing an 81-yard touchdown pass to Ashlie Lelie, which put Denver back up by 10.
In the third quarter, Steelers left tackle Marvel Smith had to be removed from the game after suffering from agonizing shoulder bursitis. The 6'5," 320-pound lineman was replaced by user-created offensive tackle Pamela Wendel '06.
The 5'2," 90-pound substitute played valiantly and anchored what proved to be a miraculous fourth-quarter comeback.
First, Pittsburgh cut the score to 17-14 in the early minutes of the fourth. Then with 3:18 left in the game, Pittsburgh took its first lead at 21-17, following a 63-yard Roethlisberger touchdown pass to Cedric Wilson.
Pittsburgh then shut Denver down on the next drive, sealing the victory.
Final Score: 21-17 Pittsburgh.
Player of the Game: Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger; 13-19 passing for 183 yards; two touchdowns.
Seattle vs. Carolina
This game was quiet in the first half.
The Seahawks finally broke the scoreless tie with a 46-yard field goal in the early minutes of the third.
Seattle struck again when Stephen Alexander rumbled down the field for a 52-yard score.
If the simulation predicts reality, then both of us are in for a real treat because six minutes into the third, our roommate's girlfriend stopped by and cheated on him with both of us.
Down 10-0 in the fourth, Carolina finally stormed back when Justin Brownstone '06 seized play-calling for both teams.
Brownstone rolled off 28 unanswered points for Carolina, connecting on four consecutive touchdown scores to wide receiver Steve Smith on the arm of quarterback Jake Delhomme.
The comeback was sparked by timely defense and Seattle's curious penchant for punting on first-and-ten.
Final Score: 28-10 Carolina.
Player of the Game: Roommate's girlfriend.
