Cal Newport


Homecoming Issues

Fall has arrived, and as Martha Stewart would say, "it's a good thing." The signs of the season are all around us: the leaves are changing color, the '06 girls are realizing that half the campus already owns that J-Crew sweater-jacket they were so proud of buying, and humor columnists are adding strained Martha Stewart references to their pieces. Yet to Dartmouth students, fall means something even more.

A Traditional Spring

Last term I wrote an article titled "A Traditional Winter," in which, as a service to the freshman class, I highlighted some of the more important Dartmouth winter traditions.

Internship Blues

I guess it's unavoidable, for most sophomores it's time to start thinking about internships. Many of us have off-terms coming up next year, which means we should begin our hunt for the perfect "professional growth experience" as soon as possible. Never one to procrastinate, I recently resolved that I would write out all my qualifications, cross-reference these with the industries in which I am most interested and order the results according to the desirability of geographic location.

Spring Fever

Spring is finally upon us, and we can now enjoy long, sunny days, afternoons spent lounging on the Green, good-natured games of touch football and, of course, severe nausea.

A Dartmouth Sense of Humor

I recognize that my columns typically have approximately the social significance of a Hanson album, but as my last contribution to The Dartmouth for this term, I wanted to touch on a more serious topic: "Our Generation's Sense of Humor," [cue the John Williams-style inspirational music]. In the March 1 edition of The Dartmouth, Jessica Leinwand and Kelly Swartz published a column entitled "Students Uncover Elusive Secret to Sense of Humor at Dartmouth." I felt that this article was well-written, even-handed and showed exemplary restraint except maybe for the part where they described humor writers at Dartmouth as "animosity-ridden social rejects -- disgruntled and depressed malcontents lurking in dark dorm hallways and the basement of Collis." As a humor writer on this campus I must admit that I'm somewhat offended.

Can I See Some ID?

Security in this nation has never been tighter. Boarding an airplane requires passing through several armed checkpoints, military fighter jets circle over our major cities, and for their safety, the producers of the just-released Britney Spears movie "Crossroads" have been whisked away to an undisclosed location.

Ghost Troubles

I am almost definite that the North Fayerweather dormitory is haunted. Don't be alarmed, I understand that we live a sheltered life here at Dartmouth and that for most of us our idea of a crisis is forgetting to put in hair gel before going to the gym.

Food Rage and Rush

There has been a lot of activity here at Dartmouth the last couple of weeks, most notably of course being the Greek system's rush process.

A Traditional Winter

Come on everyone! Join me in the singing of our beloved alma mater: "oooohhhh, Dartmouth give arawl (?)For-the-college-on-the-green, and the lone pine above her, and theloyalnymphs whoscrub her (?) give a rawl, give a rawlhave no fearfor the la, la-la la la-laaa, la la-la la la-laaa" Well, anyway, I'm sure you all know the rest of the words.

Major Pain

My fellow '04s, sophomore winter is finally here. It is now time to prepare to make the most important decision of our academic careers: do we face the cold to get an omelet for breakfast, or settle for a handful of stale Cheese-Its instead?