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For the Nookie

(10/27/00 9:00am)

My Dear Masses of Adoring Readers -- greetings. Indubitably, you're ecstatic to be reading another article of mine just as I too am filled with an unbearable ecstasy, bordering on orgasmic, to be sitting at my computer this lovely afternoon, rolling the words across my tongue and pondering what wisdom I should drop into your ready ears.

Nobody Loves Me, I'll Just Eat Mud

(10/27/00 9:00am)

I just can't get the hang of this Homecoming thing. I understand that it's definitely the biggest Dartmouth weekend; the other two just don't measure up to the fall classic. It's hard to get warm and fuzzy about Carnival traditions when you can't feel your ears, and don't even try talking to me about that stuff during the happy barbecue that is Green Key. Homecoming actually has a point -- I just don't know how I feel about that point.

A Friendly Fire

(10/27/00 9:00am)

As the administration's recent threat to eliminate the bonfire shows, there is a fundamental difference between the philosophies of the students and the administration at this school. For the students, by and large, this school is a community of adults living together, a place to learn more about yourself, a place to learn about others, and a place to learn about certain aspects of the world in exquisite detail.