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Who Should Win the Heisman Trophy? Ron Dayne

(11/04/99 11:00am)

Who will be the next great impact player in the NFL? Who will fall in the line of the best college players who then take it to the next level and flourish with such names as Flutie, Testaverde, Sanders, George, Woodson, and Williams? But one cannot forget the dominant college players whose only way of getting to Hawaii was by paying their own way? Names such as Danny Wuerffel, Rashaan Salaam, Charlie Ward [although he is doing alright for himself in the NBA], Ty Detmer, Andre Ware and Gino Toretta come to mind.






Announcing the Greek System

(11/04/99 11:00am)

In an unprecedented and extremely controversial move yesterday five very uninfluencial seniors publicly announced the Greek system in an act of defiance to their former state of ignorance. William Coyne '00, Lucas Braun '00, Ben Rifkin '00, Christian Budde '00, and Drew Gardiner '00 made statements to the media yesterday acknowledging their full understanding that their place of residence has a much greater social significance. "We know now that we are Greeks. We thought we were just friends but now we know that we are more than friends. Budde is also Italian which is downright confusing for him right now. It's been a long day." In a statement devoid of adverbs, the Facetious Five indicated that their goal in announcing the Greek system is to make sure all students on campus realize they too may be in a Greek organization unknowingly, or not knowingly, or knowingly just a little bit.











On Gore

(11/03/99 11:00am)

I couldn't help but laugh at Joseph LaBracio's column last Friday on the Town Meeting for Democratic Candidates. First, he attempted to trick readers into thinking that his contentions with Al Gore were objective by failing to mention his own support for the Bradley campaign. In addition, the closest he came to a real statement of fact was borrowing almost verbatim a phrase that Gloria Borger used on "The Larry King Show" immediately following the debate.





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