10 Things to Buy with Money Your Textbook Resold For

By Margaret Jones | 3/4/16 9:00am

'Twas the end of week nine and all through the halls,
Every student was studying (in between bawls);

All their textbooks were lugged to Blobby with care,
In hopes that great grades soon would be theirs;

The lucky ones, nestled all snug in their beds,
Had visions of spring classes dance in their heads;

New profs and new classmates, and needing to look,
Online to buy all the required textbooks;

And inside their brains there arose such a clatter;
Just how will they pay for these books? That’s the matter!

But up on the internet, they happen to know,
You can sell old, used books for that ca$h money flow!

They rush to their laptops in vain just to see,
An oh so grim screen, just as plain as can be.

Tears filled their eyes as they stared on in sadness,

An image suddenly pops into their minds,
Of the one true culprit they’re trying to find;

Nothing in the world wants their debt to be bigger,
Than the infamous term – academic rigor.

They were angrier now than Bellatrix Lestrange,
“What the hell can we buy with this mere pocket change?”


Thankfully, Dartbeat's done all the work for you. Here are ten things you can buy with the money your textbook resold for:

chipotle80% of a Chipotle Chicken Burrito
When you’re hungry, but you’re not that hungry.(Who am I kidding, I need at least 2 burritos to be full.)

KAF sammie

63% of a KAF Sandwich
Use all that extra cash to help your already-negative DBA (or is that just me…?)


50% of a Fracket
That is, if you're willing to spend ten whole dollars on one fracket (you could, of course, save your ~hard-earned money~ by stealing one from a frat).

unicorn mug

38% of a 3D Unicorn Mug
Bring it to KAF and save 25% on brewed tea or coffee! #frugal


10% of a Nice Bottle of Wine
When you get tired of Franzia and need a nicer MDF-approved beverage.


1% of a Hoverboard
They don’t want you to ride your hoverboard. Fight the good fight, my friends.


0.77% of an iPhone 6S
Call me, beep me, if you wanna reach me?


0.65% of a Canada Goose Jacket
You're probably better off justwrapping yourself in your textbooks to keep warm.


0.02% of One Term at Dartmouth
So close yet so, so far.

And, obviously…


4% of a New Textbook
Eh, who needs to do the readings, anyway?

Margaret Jones