Twelve Thoughts You Have While On an Off Term
Like about 50% of Dartmouth students, I migrated away from campus this winter for an off-term. I think the greatest proof of students’ intelligence at the college is the fact that most people who can migrate away from Hanover in the winter do. Yes, Dartmouth is great, learning is kool and snow is so pretty. But, sometimes you slip on black ice while running to a 9L, and while you’re lying on your back you find yourself thinking, “Maybe I’ll just stay here forever and slowly freeze.” Then you promptly reevaluate and decide to take next winter off.
- “It’s an email, it’s an email, it’s an email, don’t say blitz, don’t say blitz, it’s an email, it’s an email.”
- “Shit, I wonder how bad the weather in Hanover is right now?”
- “It’s fine, Winter Carnival is like, the worst of the big weekends, right? It’s so cold anyways, can’t be fun.”
- “Remember, it’s ‘How long’s the wait,’ not ‘What’s line?’”
- “What’s all this news about ISIS and planes and Hilary Clinton? Why doesn’t anyone know about Philibition and the FoCo sidewalk? Wait, that person doesn’t even know what Dartmouth is? Are we not the center of all news? Maybe people don’t actually care about what 4,000 stupid kids are doing in the middle of the woods.”
- “Is going negative in my bank account the same as going negative in DBA?”
- “Since when is a 20-minute walk not far? Maybe I could live in the River…”
- “Since when does alcohol cost money? And why am I paying to watch improv???”
- “No, no, it’s not like I got suspended, it’s an off-term, it’s like my summer, just not in the summer, see Dartmouth has this weird thing called the D-Plan…”
- “People actually use dating sites?”
- “I wish all my friends worked at my company. No, wait, I wish only cats worked at my company”
- “I can’t do this. I’m not an adult. I’m 10 years old. I want to go back to school.”
