MDF: Top Anonymous Comments
Last week, The Dartmouth published a roundup of reactions in the national media to College President Phil Hanlon’s “Moving Dartmouth Forward” (MDF) plan. Unfortunately, in a shocking editorial oversight, The Dartmouth’s reporting failed to cover the viewpoints of another important indicator of national opinion —anonymous online commentators. So, on a mission to compliment our previous reporting, Dartbeat trolled the internet for the most ridiculous comments we could find about MDF. Here are our findings, presented without changes to their spelling, grammar or lucidity:
Listener RayDeo: "Alcohol is a 4 organ poison. Drinking less for any reason isn't a bad thing. Smoke weed. Do some coke. shroom a bit. but do not, ever, do peyote. that is sacred.”
Betcheslovethis: "Dartmouth Bans Hard Alcohol Sealing It’s [sic] Fate As Suckiest Ivy"
fu****gduh: “It’s because the betches went to Cornell, so instead of #admitting that they went to the worst Ivy (is it an Ivy?) they have to talk s**t about Dartmouth.”
Washington Post: "Dartmouth College tackles campus drinking with a ban on hard alcohol"
Mgo Azul: "Hanover is a rinky dink one horse town/village in the middle of NOWHERE! BORING!"
Boston Globe: "Dartmouth bans hard alcohol, forbids Greek life pledging"
salemlawyer: “This just in: Dartmouth bans all Fun for College Students”
ABC News: "Dartmouth Bans Hard Liquor, Takes Steps to Prevent Rape"
J R: “Yay land of the free....”
The Atlantic: "No One Knows How to Stop Campus Alcohol Abuse"
Mark Williams: “The problem is that young people don’t want to get an education. They want to have fun and relax. This is a problem of modern society.”
The Dartmouth: "Hanlon announces hard alcohol ban, residential communities"
xXyoloswag42069noscopeXx: “im not sure what the president guy said but it sounded cool so i support it”