Texts From Last Night: Green Key Edition
Congratulations! You survived a week of drunken craziness, music and revelry, and now it's time to hit the books. But before you hole up in the library for finals, it's important to remember that Green Key is a time of remembrance — perhaps regretting some life choices, reliving the Lupe Fiasco concert, wishing you had done anything resembling work at some point in time… you get the point. Here to help with that reflection are Dartmouth students' texts from Green Key, documenting the last few days’ shenanigans. Happy Green Key 2014, everyone. See you in the library.
Acceptance
(813): I think of it less as me being responsible and more as my liver giving up.
On a scale from one to Pop Punk….
(207): what is your sweat level right now
#Rage
(603): Turn down 4 what???
(716 – a UGA): Rounds. Turn down for rounds.
Minty fresh morning breath
(508): Questionable why you woke up with someone sticking toothpaste in your mouth
She doesn’t even go here
(347): hahahaha key green goals
(925): Key green? Hahah
(347): Oh
(347): Do I even go here anymore
Scaring the locals since 1899
(207): I slept until 11:15. The locksmith woke me up. I think he was afraid I was dead
…Did we just become best friends?
Sunday, 3:40 a.m.
650: You up dude?
650: I'm stuck on the hop patio and sns is waiting right outside the hop. I need you to set off some fireworks and run around naked on the other side of the green
650: This will give me enough time to climb down and bounce unnoticed, do we have a plan?
609: Yes
Oh good I was looking for those
(213): Hav ur shies
“Springy”
(646): also what should I wear
(646): I want to look “fun” and “springy”
(646): But also I am from ny and everything I own is black
(646): Idk I am pretty conflicted rn
(415): Black is fun and springy
Green Key: now its own language
(513): USB anything hall pong fonogipho? Or is it pgrahlixov?
Things that are not a good sign
(207): Where did you go? Crutches still in my room
Goes well with Keystone
(603): I just ate like five pounds of beet hummus
Her spell on them remains
954: wealumsowe you a nice, hefty drankkkkkkkk
Beyoncé approves
(508): Drunk
(781): in love?
(508): no, in drunk
Statements that are OK depending on whether you are at the pong or dinner table
(305): All I know is I have two balls and am flexible
The true highlight of a Dartmouth career
(603): I just sunk the last cup of a game backhand I think I just peaked