The Nine Stages of Attempting to Study in the Library

By Marie Plecha, The Dartmouth Staff | 1/27/14 3:00am

Trips to the library start with the best intentions. I usually saunter into Baker-Berry with a well-thought out plan to finish all my reading for the week, outline that gov. paper and finish all of my FSP apps multiple weeks in advance. Realistically though, most of my library excursions end up looking a little more like this:

1.Deciding where, exactly, to study.

This is a decision often more stress-inducing than the actual work itself. Should I go to FFB for facetime? 3FB for slightly quieter facetime? The stacks so I can actually get work done? Nah, the stacks are way too grim. And staircases are daunting. Periodicals it is.

2.Wait, a coffee run is definitely necessary.

Luckily, KAF is right there! Standing in line gives me plenty of time to contemplate what to order. Should I go for a large medium or a large dark? (Wait, that’s not even what they’re called anymore. I’d better just get hot chocolate.)

3.Being distracted by six people I know.

Commiserating about how much work we have to do is way more appealing than actually doing it. Also, last night’s Girls is just begging to be discussed.

4.Okay, now it’s time to start studying for real.

After removing my coat, hat, gloves and other miscellaneous winter accessories, I’m ready to go!

5.But first, I need to check my blitz and Facebook.

Scrolling through this morning’s torrent of listserv blitzes is definitely a productive use of time, right? Maybe it’s time to join a new club. Also, I should probably click through my roommate’s LSA photos and “like” 80 percent of them.

6.Buzzfeed is on my bookmarks bar, which obviously means I should click on it.

Cookie Dough flavored Oreos exist? Hold on, what?

7.Okay, I guess I should start my gov. reading now.

I don’t want all of these people around me to think I’m not being productive or anything like that. Wait, how does Canvas work again?

8. Work, work, work.

I put in a solid two hours of actual work. Readings are done, paper is (roughly) outlined and FSP apps aren’t due for another two weeks anyway, so they can wait. I give my study session a solid B+.

9. Time to go home!

Studying can be really exhausting. I’d say it’s time for a nap.


Marie Plecha, The Dartmouth Staff