Freak of the Week: Washed

Dear Freak of the Week, 

I’m calling it. I’m officially washed up. It’s my junior spring and I’ve been in a few relationships but nothing too serious, and I find myself single once again. It’s spring term and I’m eager to try to find something new. The thing is though, I feel like I already know or have hooked up with all the people on campus I might be interested in. I guess I could pursue people in the grades adjacent to mine, but that seems like so much effort. Basically, I’m looking for any good pick up spots or methods for single upperclassmen who feel washed up like me.

Sincerely,

Washed

Dear Washed,

You’ve seriously run through all of your options in a 4,500-student undergraduate population? I’m impressed.

At this point at Dartmouth, you are still making new connections. As a rising senior, I can think of a few substantive new friendships I’ve made this winter and spring terms. And, as a junior, your options are wide open: seniors, juniors and sophomores. Not freshmen yet. Wait until after they rush at least.

Despite this positive outlook, I don’t advise you to keep looking. Instead, I encourage you to be alone for some time. Sit with yourself as a single person. There are many benefits to being totally unattached — not even hookups — for some time in college. I’ll give a few: 

1. Every on-night is wide open. You have no curfew, no one you “have to play pong with” at 11:30 p.m. on a Saturday.
2. Your life on campus is yours. You’re not responsible for anyone else. 
3. This means you can take time to work on yourself and discover yourself. Take hard classes. Dive into your activities. Read for fun!

I encourage you to do this as you approach this summer and senior year. Think about how sad it is to go out and hook up with other “washed upperclassmen” just because you are both single and desperate. Now, think about how much cooler it is to choose yourself. Just something to ponder!

- Leila

Dear Washed,

This one hit close to home. Let’s make one thing very clear — you definitely haven’t run out of options. I feel like I see a new person on this campus every day. Your instinct is right that it’s just a matter of finding the right place to meet people.

The first place I’d recommend is Microbrews, a weekly Dartmouth-sponsored event hosted in One Wheelock on Monday nights. I’m not sure if you already go or if you’re even 21, but it obviously caters to an older crowd and has a cool ambiance. They often have live music and beers, both of which are a nice social lubricant. It might be worth grabbing a couple of your friends to check it out.

Murphy’s on an “on-night” is also an interesting option. I know this one might sound a little diabolical, but there’s usually groups of upperclassmen there, and it might be worth striking up a conversation with someone there that you think is cute.

Honestly, those are the best pick up “scenes” I can think of other than the obvious more regular avenues I’m sure you’re used to on campus. There’s also posting “m4f” on Fizz, but I don’t really recommend this. In terms of strategies, my generic take that I give all the time is that a flitz will never fail you. Be on the lookout for hot and interesting people in your daily life. If you have the guts, send them a rogue flitz! I think it’s always worth a shot, and it’s really never that deep. 

I know this might seem like a cop out, but I also encourage you to look beyond hookups and romantic relationships at Dartmouth. We’re all so young. Stressing about meeting that perfect someone now is monumentally dumb. Think about all the other stuff you haven’t done on campus and in the Upper Valley that is super cool and interesting!  Your future self will be much more grateful that you chose to create interesting memories  than it would be if you chased that one last person.

- Eli