I’ve always loved going places. Whether it’s a quick Target run in West Lebanon, a weekend getaway to Wisconsin for a Coldplay concert or a trip to Europe with my family, the joy of possibility has always drowned out any anxiety.
Now, as sophomore summer winds down, I’m going places both new and familiar. This fall, I’ll spend my off-term working in Orlando, Florida, as a character attendant at DisneyWorld — helping mascots interact with visitors. In the winter, I will be studying abroad on the anthropology FSP in Auckland, New Zealand. I’ve been looking forward to these opportunities since I accepted my Dartmouth admissions offer. I want to live, to immerse myself in new places, to say yes to the unfamiliar.
However, as my departure date creeps closer, I have found myself feeling a range of emotions about my long absence from campus — eagerness, anticipation, fear and sadness. Moving to Orlando on my own suddenly feels daunting, and the thought of living on the other side of the world for ten weeks has become scary. The truth is, it’s the uncertainty that the next seven months hold that has changed my perspective from solely excited to a bit more conflicted. I’m excited, but afraid of feeling unmoored.
This ambivalence is reflected back at me through my sister, Lily. This week, Lily moved into college to start her freshman year. She told me that although she’s eager to jump into this new chapter of her life, the uncertainty and unfamiliarity that come with moving to a new place have brought nerves. At least we’re feeling this way simultaneously.
I’m bolstered by memories of myself: when I begged for the window seat, leaned out to breathe in the smell of somewhere unfamiliar, believed every trip was a doorway to something extraordinary.
Happy Week 8, Mirror. For anyone else heading to a new place this coming school year, pause to think about how your younger self would look at you now — with awe, with pride and with sheer joy. Carry that with you; let it be the compass that guides you when the journey ahead looks uncertain.
