Dear Freak of the Week,
Are dating apps worth it? If so, which one? If not, how do I meet and connect with people considering the challenges presented by the D-Plan? I’m interested in dating, not a hookup, so some have told me an app isn’t the way to go ...
- Anonymous
This might be a hot take, but I love dating apps, specifically when I’m not in Hanover. In my opinion, finding the right “someone” is purely a numbers game, and a dating app is one of the best ways to be exposed to the most eligible bachelors in your age range. I know many people who are still stuck in the old ways. “I want to meet someone in person, at the bar, through a friend” they say, wrapped up in nostalgia. I think this mentality is certainly based on valiant and fair notions of romance, but it represents an unrealistic approach to dating in the 21st century. In fact, according to a survey by The Knot, dating apps make up the single largest portion of how couples met in 2024, accounting for just under 30% of the engaged couples surveyed. Why exclude yourself from this major way of meeting people?
In terms of hooking up versus dating, that all depends on the app. Though you can find people looking to hookup or date on any dating app, some apps are more suited to dating than others. In my experience, Tinder is a full blown meat market. Almost everyone on there is looking for a hookup or one time thing, and the interface is much more focused on people’s physical appearance than their personality traits. I think Hinge is the imperfect alternative to Tinder –– while it is also relatively surface level, I have found that people there are more interested in getting to know people than strictly hooking up like Tinder.
Even so, dating apps are a definite no-no in Hanover. Although I’ve never tried using one, I’ve heard from friends that there are way too many people they recognize from campus, and most people are strictly looking for hookups. As much as it might be less realistic in the real world, I will begrudgingly admit that the “old school” ways of meeting people are still prevalent on college campuses. Talk to that attractive person in your class or the one you see when you go out. Ask to be set up with that friend of a friend. Send that cold flitz. College is one of the only times in life where these ways of meeting people reign supreme. Good luck!
- Eli
Ahh, dating at Dartmouth. Do people do that here?
I’m kidding. It is entirely possible to date someone here. I know because I’ve seen other people do it. So far, they’ve been successful.
If you’re wondering how people actually meet here, I would steer clear of dating apps if you’re looking for something real. I don’t know of enough people who utilize these apps to make a judgement, but I’d guess you’re more likely to be asked out for drinks at Murphy’s with a townie than start a relationship with a Dartmouth student. But honestly, Murphy’s with a townie sounds like a blast. So you do you.
Contrary to popular belief, there are plenty of people here who aren’t interested in hookup culture and are looking to date. It feels like there’s no one because hookup culture is so pervasive, and there’s pressure to participate. But nine times out of ten, if you like someone and ask them out, they’ll appreciate the thoughtfulness.
The D-Plan might be the biggest challenge to dating here. You could meet someone, fall for them and then not see them for a year — maybe more. It might be the biggest breaking point for couples here. Not because the D-Plan itself breaks them up, but it reveals relationships’ deeper issues. Either you’re committed to braving the D-Plan or you’re not. Are you in it for the long haul or just the term?
Despite this, not all hope is lost. There are plenty of opportunities to meet and connect with people here, whether that be through mutual friends, classes or clubs. Not every romantic connection has to be made on a night out. In fact, most shouldn’t. Get out there! Be friendly. Send that flitz. Go on dates. Try, succeed, fail. Don’t limit yourself to a timeline. Be single and also don’t be single. There are lots of cool people at Dartmouth. Have fun and see what happens.
- Leila
Eli Moyse ’27 is an opinion editor and columnist for The Dartmouth. He is from Connecticut, and studies government and creative writing.
On campus, Eli is an active member of the Dartmouth Political Union and Dartmouth Army ROTC. He attends Dartmouth on an ROTC scholarship, and upon graduation, he will commission as a Second Lieutenant in the U.S. Army. He has been an active writer and political organizer from a young age, working on over 15 political campaigns varying from local to presidential races, and publishing both fiction and nonfiction on various platforms.
First and foremost, Eli loves to write, and he intends to make some form of it his full time career after his time in the Army.
