Faithful readers, this week has been trying for us and for our sleep schedules. Between the U.S. winning the “Ice Cold War” in front of Vladimir Putin, Dartmouth athletes absolutely killing it Sochi and contemplating blitzing Sophie Caldwell ’12 to ask if she wants to grab a FoCo meal some time, we have not had time to think about much else.
This week, we did something we promised ourselves we would for a long time. We participated in this week’s competition before noon on Sunday. It’s a big feat for us, and to be honest, we’re pretty proud of ourselves. But we didn’t do it for the glory or the recognition, we did it because, as half of Dartmouth knows, that powder at Killington isn’t going to ski itself.
The men’s basketball team accepted our challenge, which, luckily for us, meant we were playing very much indoors and close to where we both live. Plus, it’s the weekend of the biggest annual event in professional basketball: the dunk competition. At 5 foot 9 inches, I live vicariously through those guys.
Preparation was simple: play as much 2K as humanly possible, take on any challenge we could find at Alumni, watch dunk highlight videos, talk about the Lebron James “Decision” and listen to as much of Troop 41’s “Do the John Wall” as we could.
We set the challenge for Wednesday, conveniently right after what was probably an intense cardio-filled basketball practice. Completely random and definitely not intentional. Sorry guys, we have group projects every other afternoon. We were going to meet Tyler Melville ’14 and Eli Harrison ’17 for a game to 10 at Alumni. Tired opponents. Home court advantage. Wit and charm. The situation looked right for what could be the first outright Legends victory since...we’ll get back to you on that one.
Anyway, it only got better. Those of you who keep up with this column — conservatively approximately 90 percent of our close friends and family, 80 percent of the student population and, of course, 100 percent of dartmouthsports.com readers — will recall that I am not the best b-baller in the world, despite my roots in the Bluegrass State. So we brought an ace: Joe Dowdell ’14.
And by brought in, I actually mean he was coincidentally there about to play pick-up, and we realized that if we were to have any shot, we needed Joe. For those of you unfamiliar with Joe’s Legend CV, he is a Big Green wide receiver and, as Google has informed us, balled substantially hard in high school. His eligibility for Legends status as a varsity athlete is still a topic of debate with the National Legends Board, but we do what we want.
Well, as it turns out, despite an ace in the hole, Freddie’s self-proclaimed basketball skills and a solid home crowd of me and a few guys sitting around watching, our opponents were not nearly as intimidated as we would have hoped. Tyler and Eli got in tired from practice, gave the customary pre-game handshakes, laughed a little bit at the possibility of us beating them, gave Freddie and Joe the rock and then promptly took it away and put up three quick buckets.
Joe wasn’t having it. He went off for a quick two points about brought it back to within striking distance on a long three-pointer and a layup. But then, it happened.
Readers, I am not in the business of cutting stories short. No word count or editor can keep me down. This occurrence, however, silenced even the most condescending of us. Freddie guarded Tyler with the standard Legends one-on-one defensive scheme, and Tyler pulled a head fake, put the ball through Freddie’s legs and then laid the ball up as if he was playing on one of those Little Tikes orange and blue nets, all in stride. Honestly, I think we can just leave it at that. Freddie kind of looked at the ground for a while, but hey, that could have happened to anyone. Eli was good for three or four more from the field. Our elaborate plan for victory at any and all costs completely backfired. Again.
Fans, I know you are all shocked. But honestly, we are kind of glad that it happened. Like many of you, we finally realized that even early preparation doesn’t work sometimes and that just winging it at the last minute was clearly the way to go.
We do want to encourage all of you to come out and support the basketball team for their final games in Leede this season. These guys battle day in and day out. Getting to see Tyler play over the last four years has been unreal, and finally playing against him makes you appreciate how good these guys really are. The Legends will be in attendance, offering potential post-game autographs. Pictures for only $5. What other reason do you need?
