In case you were wondering, we have now marked approximately 2,014 rotations of the earth around the sun since the birth of some guy in Bethlehem. I say “approximately” because evidence suggests that Jesus was born between 7 and 2 B.C., so the count’s a little off. We could just call it “Common Era,” satisfying all non-Christians, though I know Dionysius Exiguus, the monk who coined “anno Domini” in 525 A.D., would be just a tad disappointed.
I also say “approximately” because measuring a year is actually really hard. First, there’s a difference between sidereal days and solar days, whatever those mean, because the earth’s relationship to the stars changes as the earth moves around the sun. So we have two separate ways of measuring our days ... or something (I’ve never taken astronomy). Then there’s the question of when a year actually starts — in my opinion, ringing in the new year in the depths of winter is a pretty bleak way to begin what’s supposed to be a time of cleansing. Various cultures set the start of the new year in the spring, though realistically it’s never wise to bet on when spring will arrive in Hanover.
For all intents and purposes, I think we can agree it is the year 2014, which is worth noting because one, that’s my graduation year — it says so on my sweater — and two, it marks, um ... 100 years since the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand and the beginning of World War I. Wait, that’s depressing. Let’s stick with the first.
If this were Buzzfeed, I could devote a column to a “Best of 2013” list, because that’s what writers do when it’s the week between Christmas and New Year and they’re lazy and just want to eat cookies and drink eggnog. But I have missed my window to recycle old content from the previous year and pretend like it’s new, so I must be original.
As expected, I didn’t get as much done over winter break as I’d planned to. Case in point — I had an eight-week gap between the last column and this one, and here I am writing this the day before it’s due, resorting to the time-honored elementary school format of “What I Did Over Winter Vacation.”
Wouldn’t you like to know? Well, I went skiing. Two good friends from home and I went on a carnival cruise to Ensenada, Mexico, and instead of spending our money on tequila and tacos we perused every single tourist shop on the hunt for the perfect silver bracelet. I spent New Year’s Eve at a dive bar hanging out with three random people who were my best friend’s buddies from study abroad in Israel (my friend didn’t make it past 10:30 p.m.). I went to the beach and Chipotle multiple times. Yes, I know Chipotle is a chain restaurant. Yes, I am eating at a chain restaurant when I live in Southern California. Yes, there is cheaper, more authentic Mexican food to be had. But frankly I just really, really like Chipotle. The closest Chipotle is 79.3 miles (yes, I Googled it) from Hanover, so I had to take the opportunity.
To avoid thinking about riding my bike in sub-freezing weather, I rode it on the beach. Despite weeks of practice, I’m still no match for my nearly 60-year-old father who only has one and a half knees. When you spend too much time on bike lanes, you get irrationally mad at people who can’t follow the simple rules of the road — walkers and slower bikers on the right, faster traffic passes on the left. And, oh my God, why are you letting your child skate on the wrong side of the road with his new rollerblades from Santa, allowing him to be nearly run over by hardcore bikers? You can tell they’re hardcore because of the multi-colored spandex and willingness to take out children.
It was about 75 degrees between Christmas and New Year at home, which only makes the transition back to the frigid land of 10As in the Life Sciences Center that much more difficult. But I will persevere, partly because I don’t have a 10A. I will write a thesis! I will get a job! I will pass my last bio class ever and then spend senior spring basking in the comfort and ease of the humanities.
I hope everyone had a relaxing winter break and was able to make a hefty dent in their Netflix queues. I, for one, watched all of “Breaking Bad” in a week and a half. Welcome to any new readers who were doing something fun during their off terms in exotic locations. To those of you who were on in the fall and are just reading this column now, what is wrong with you? It’s definitely the highlight of my Friday. I hope everyone is off to a good start on their New Year’s resolutions, though I don’t really buy into resolutions, since the vast majority of them involve losing weight, making money or not spending money and being organized, all of which are boring and most likely unachievable. I’ll just resolve to be awesome all 365.25 days of the year.
Whatever calendar you choose to follow (besides the Mayan one, alas, that one ended), it’s hard to argue that this is not the beginning of the end. Or rather, the trudging, middle part of the beginning of the end. It’s kind of like the Hobbit trilogy (another thing I watched over winter break), where you’re just waiting for them to get on with it and kill the dragon already. Though I am quite fond of Benedict Cumberbatch and so was actually rooting for the dragon the whole time. Winter’s a bit of drag for everyone, even for freshmen who are just beginning to experience their first one. Hang in there, guys. We can have our own pagan New Year festival come March.
