But when you look more closely at Dartmouth's Narp community, it's hard to put marathon runners and treadmill walkers in the same category. Wondering which type of Narp you are? Check off the boxes for the descriptions that most closely fit your athletic ability and endeavors. Just know that if you lie, that automatically makes you a trying-too-hard Narp (see below.)
Elite Narp: Pretty much is a varsity athlete, just doesn't have those awesome sweaters.o Has run at least one (preferably more) marathon o Has hiked the Fifty or aspires too Is an Emergency Medical Technician and Outdoor Emergency Care Certifiedo Went on a National Outdoor Leadership tripo Can bench press more than his or her body weighto Ran all "100 plus class year" laps around the Homecoming bonfire
Upper Crust Narp: You're in great shape and everybody knows it because you always wear athletic clothes in FoCo.o Plays a (legitimate) club sport, a.k.a. a sport with actual cutso Runs or plans to run the Children's Hospital at Dartmouth Half-Marathon (and casually tosses out the term "CHaD Half")o Frequents Alumni Gym and the Zimmerman Fitness Center and knows how to use the weight machines!o Knows what Rip Road, Pine Park and Turnpike Road areo Can ski black diamonds with easeo Regularly attends 6:30 a.m. spinning class or runs at the same hour
Trying-Too-Hard Narp: More like a Classic Narp in denialo Runs one lap around Occom Pond for a workouto Went sledding just to get a cute profile picture out of ito Uses the facetimey stationary bikes in the gym (don't pretend you don't know which ones they are) ORo Sprints on the elliptical with no resistanceo Fakes knowing the rules to squash, hockey and volleyballo Pregames the football games, but never actually makes it to Memorial Field
Classic Narp: Exercise or not, you don't really over-think it unless your pants start getting tight.o Has only ever gone hiking during Trips (but by hiking we mean cabin camping)o Considers trekking to Fourth Flour Berry enough daily exerciseo Refuses to go to sports games if the venue is too far of a walk (looking at you, softball)o Realizes eating healthily is more of an aspiration than a realityo Went to the gym once two weeks ago and still feels pretty good about ito Dancing in frats quickly gets tiring
Bare-Minimum Narp: Does what is necessary to graduate Dartmouth and that's all.o Doggie paddled the two laps of the swim requiremento Refuses to live on any floor but the firsto Did fishing for a P.E. credit (it's so peaceful)o Considers a Strawberry Fruit Roll-up to be one full serving of fruito Ran a token lap around the bonfire
o Went to the gym once and walked on the treadmill
King or Queen of the Narps: You know who you are own it. Totally rejects all athletic activities and might not graduate from Dartmouth because of your failure to meet the P.E requirements.
If more than three qualities in any given category apply to you, congratulations! You've found your label at a school that was really lacking in ways to label people. From the anti-athlete to the master of Moosilauke, the good thing about Dartmouth is that there are always opportunities to break out of your fitness box. Want to do more? Hit the ground running while the grass is green and breathe in the sporty possibilities New Hampshire has to offer.
