"It's an unusual story to be raised by a gay father in the early '70s and to essentially grow up in a gay male community as a little girl," women and gender studies professor Michael Bronski said. "Alysia is very aware of how special that was and how it really helped form her life in wonderful ways."
Abbott discussed how she moved to San Francisco in 1974, where Bohemians "black and white, gay and straight" were trying to find their identities together. She recalled the poverty that characterized the community she became part of and how it stands in stark contrast to the San Francisco we know today. Her living situation may not have been ideal, but Abbott said her time there made her a better person.
"There is a deep ethos engrained into me, a very progressive and open attitude," Abbott said.
At the reading, Abbott recounted her earliest memory, when she walked into a pool and almost drowned at just five years old. Years later, Abbott discovered an entry in her father's journal that told the story from his point of view. As she reflected on the experience, Abbott learned that her perspective on her relationship with her father had also changed over time.
"When I was a child, I was frustrated that he couldn't give me more at times," Abbott said, "Now, I can realize that he was a single father doing all that' and pursuing his dreams during a time when there were very few gay fathers."
Abbott said her father would have understood her intention in writing her memoir, in which she confronts the mistakes her father made and her growing understanding that his actions were motivated by love. As her father's "sole survivor," Abbott felt the need to tell his story as honestly as she could.
After her memori's release, Abbott met with old family friends and acquaintances of her family, many of whom knew her parents better than herself. This was especially true in the case of her mother, who passed away when Abbott was only three years old.
"My parents were of a generation and time when they were trying to invent family with each other," Abbott said. "They felt a lot more kinship with their friends than their families. I've had reunions with people from my family's past and they say it feels like they're meeting an old friend."
Using her father's journals, Abbott painted a realistic portrayal of her father's life and the special relationship they shared. She described him as a gay man who was unafraid to bring his daughter into a secret world that would change her views and life.
Gisele Phalo '17 said the reading resonated with her.
"It forced me to think not only about my personal life, but also about other people's struggles and childhoods," she said. "It makes me feel good about my own struggles, knowing that I'm not alone and that I can overcome whatever family issues I'm going through. By reflecting on these things, I feel like I can become a better person."
Abbott's story demonstrates how many diverse definitions of family exist, Bronski said.
"What this story tells us is that we often haven't heard so far from the children of LGBT parents because they're actually still children now," he said. "I hope that it speaks to the wonderful complexity of what it means to be raised in an alternative family."
