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The Dartmouth
December 15, 2025 | Latest Issue
The Dartmouth

Vann Island

I lose everything. Literally everything. Quick anecdote: before I went to Israel, I bought a chapstick from Hudson News at the airport. Within an hour I lost it and obviously had to buy another one. After the incident, I told my friend I wouldn't lose another one, this particular one, during the trip. I bet him $10 and won, but as soon as I touched down in New York City, it was gone.

Other things I lose: hats, beanies, my ID card, debit cards and of course my mind. I often ask myself, what went wrong along the road that made this become a part of who I am? It could be a result of my lack of sleep.

I don't sleep much. The infamous Gustav Graves from "Die Another Day" taught me at an early age that sleep isn't that important, as he said, "You only get one shot at life, why waste it on sleep?" So that's why I don't feel gilty (yes, I'm referring to my favorite shopping website) when I lose these things I do or when I only get six hours of sleep after staying out late.

As long as I get my six hours I'm good. Shower, grab a five-hour energy drink or chai tea latte and let's roll. Especially on a Sunday, which has been and forever will be, my favorite day of the week. Why? It's a day to unwind, put things in perspective, keep yourself in check. And yes, it doesn't hurt that when in season, the NFL takes the gridiron on this holy day.

Last Sunday I saw "Silver Linings Playbook." It was life changing, and when I woke up this Sunday I knew I had to do something to rival that experience. I made a decision early in the day that I was going to go see "Safe Haven," but it was the worst movie of all time, and ruined my Sunday.

Luckily for you guys, the events leading up to my "Safe Haven" viewing were much more exciting. A few of my buddies convinced me to go to the Dartmouth Skiway since it was their last race of the season. I really didn't understand the situation but I have serious fear of missing out, so I got the keys to the car and we were off.

We thought the race started at noon. It didn't, and when we rolled up, windows down, blasting "Scream" by Usher, we received a plethora of strange looks from the competitors. After we got over that initial embarrassment, we were unsure where to go, so I asked the woman at the front desk who said, "Go up and around," then you'll figure it out. Sure, lady.

My friends and I walked upstairs to find a large contingent in the area designated "ski-lounge." Walking through the crowd, I felt like Zoolander before he is supposed to kill the prime minister of Malaysia. I had never been more "distracted by the beautiful celebrities," who in this case were not Limp Bizkit and Lil' Kim, but skiers.

Anyways, at 12:30 p.m. we went outside to catch the race, which is when we realized the race did not start until 1 p.m. We thought we could wait 30 minutes in the cold, but I found out that I couldn't since I had lost my beanie and it was five degrees and windy outside. You can take the kid out of California, but you can't take the California out of the kid.

I sprinted to the ski store while deciding to remove Mount Everest from my bucket list. Inside, I asked for a ski cap and a man pointed to this awesomely knitted, green and white, Dutch-looking cap. Long story short, yes, I did spend $45 on this beanie.

There were 20 minutes until the race and after the purchase, I thought I could return to the wilderness. But then I saw my German professor Klaus Mladek. He's an absolute king so I stopped to say hello then headed to the slopes.

When our friend Ian Macomber '13 raced, we just started losing it. At one point I think I yelled he was a combination of Michael Jordan, Bode Miller and Nick Brody from "Homeland." I thought coaching intramural hockey was fun, but this was better. After the race I negotiated with the University of Vermont coach and offered that if he ever needs fans for hire, we're available.

Macomber killed it, and I'm sure the rest of the team did as well. But after his race it was time to head back to Dartmouth because I clearly lost my gloves earlier in the term and my hands were freezing. That said, I had to stop at the cafeteria for some hot chocolate. It's against the law to have any type of skiing endeavor without hot chocolate. I love you Sunday.

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