Dartmouth is located in Hanover, South Carolina. Sometimes we love it, sometimes we hate it, but mostly it is awesome. Sometimes people ask where Hanover is, and I tell them that we're located in the backwoods of the Appalachian Mountains. They don't actually believe me of course, but it's funny to think about putting a country club in the middle of the woods. Can you imagine?
Of course, we're pretty outdoorsy here. The Dartmouth Outing Club is open for all students to enjoy a range of outdoor adventures like waterskiing and parasailing in addition to casual weekend trips to their beach lodges, where students can enjoy weekends of tennis, golfing and sailing.
We talk in Dartspeak a lot, so don't expect to understand most of the references we make. No, it's not our Southern drawls, though we won't deny that we take pride in our native accents. Y'all might be wonderin' what we talk about down here. Shitting on the weather isn't exactly an acceptable topic of conversation considering how it's like, 70 degrees and sunny every day. But the truth is, everyone is happy here all the time! I reckon the one problem we do have is that sometimes it just gets so hot here that there's nothing to do but sit outside sipping on sweet tea and fanning ourselves with all the reading we have to do.
Our lives revolve around football. We're pretty competitive, and our weekend tailgates are almost as good as our team that is to say, the best in the country. We pitch our white tents and tablecloth spreads in the parking lot behind our massive football stadium that can barely hold all the alums that come back every weekend for our games. Expect only the classiest of events: girls in pearls and guys in ties, sipping on nothing but Bloody Marys and mimosas.
On any given Saturday of a football game, the dorms are empty of any students. The massive campus turnout means not winning is not an option, and not showing up is even less acceptable. What's that? You were still recovering from last night when the game started? You're probably some townie.
Like many schools, Greek life is pretty huge here. The whole recruitment process starts two weeks before orientation, so naturally, I started thinking about rush as soon as I got my acceptance letter in the mail. Everyone knows that if you don't have at least four recommendation letters and at least three different headshots, your chances of getting into a sorority are slim to none. Also, you can't be ugly. Sororities have standards to uphold! Thankfully, my mother, grandmother and great-grandmother were all in Zeta Omega Zeta, so I was basically a ZOZ shoe-in.
Typical frat parties involve students congregating in the backyards of the enormous white mansions we call our fraternity houses. We take pride in our houses, which resemble the finest plantation mansions in our surrounding countryside, so we keep them pretty clean. On the occasion that it's not so nice, we sometimes have to take the parties to the basements, which is pretty disgusting. Of course, no party would be the same without kegs of cheap moonshine. Local distributors in the country manufacture it and ship it over by the masses. Students here can't really say they enjoy it, but hey, it gets the job done.
If you're still looking for that special someone, our frats are the perfect place to find a date. Everyone is on the look-out for a long-term relationship, and if they're not, I don't really know why they're here. I reckon that just talking about this place is enough to cheer any bachelor or single lady up! If you're still looking by senior year, you're in the minority. I met my fiance on the first day of Orientation.
In addition to the eight big weekends we have in the fall with football season, we have two other big weekends here one in the "winter" (ahem, spring) and one in the "spring" (actually more like summer). In no way do they mirror the magic of every football weekend, but they do a pretty decent job of replicating them.
According to our history, there was some controversy in naming them. Originally the first was supposed to be "Winter Carnival," but that would actually require that it like, snowed here, and the second was supposed to be "Green Key," but that's sort of already every weekend here.
Whether you're throwing away your tractor or your Bean Boots to join us, Dartmouth is the place for you. We've got that cutesy liberal arts community feel minus the grimness of the North. We are the happiest, the Greekest, most beautiful and wild school in the country. Despite our small size, we reckon we're a pretty big deal. But you knew that already.
