I met my wonderful boyfriend Brad during our First-Year DOC Trip Hiking 3 Section J. Well, technically we met on the Bema when I jumped into his strong arms during those wonderful meet-and-greet games you play before heading off on your trip. Brad and I looked into each other's eyes, and I just knew he was the one for me. While hiking, we grew closer and spent hours spilling our secrets and snuggling under our tarp. When we returned to campus, Brad took me on a lovely date to FoCo. While this might seem a little cheesy, Brad made it special for me he paid using his own DBA and brought all my food to the table. He even brought a tablecloth and candlesticks with him!
When Brad pledged a fraternity after our first year of dating, our relationship only flourished more. The fraternity system provides the perfect platform for meeting nice, wealthy, established gentlemen. One of my closest friends Cindy met her husband Johnny when she was 10 shots deep verging on blacking out in the basement of Psi U. She crossed the room to say hello, and as she extended her hand, Johnny said, "I don't shake women's hands." Cindy set out to change his chauvinistic attitude, and after shaking her stuff on one of Heorot's platforms for half an hour, Johnny finally came up and asked her on a date to the Hop. How romantic is that?
My darling friend Suzy met her boyfriend of three years at Theta Delt playing dizzy bat on a Thursday in the basement. As Suzy swung the bat after spinning 15 times and chugging a bat full of beer, her ball hit Rodger square in the face. Rodger started bleeding and Suzy accompanied him to DHMC, where she tended to his wounds and broken nose with loving tenderness. They've been dating ever since.
Many of my girlfriends at Dartmouth have met their boys in similar manners. Peggy and Paul met when they were set up on a blind pong date, Lee Ann and Maxwell met playing dice at Phi Delt, Franny and George met during slap cup at Beta when Fran forced Georgie to drink five cups in a row due to her well-honed skills.
The other day, some of my friends and I went on a triple date to Jewel of India, the perfect place for a large group date because of the portion sizes and family-style dining. We all discussed how crazy it would be if students at Dartmouth only had one-night stands. This phenomenon, completely unheard of at our classy institution, does happen at other Ivy League schools. These poor girls, preyed upon by dirty, sweaty men in dingy basements, are forced to do such degrading things as "walks of shame" and hook up with boys who never call or blitz them back.
Welcome to Dartmouth, a place where dating is a prevalent part of our culture and finding the one is only a pong game away!
