- Cornell: "I would found an institution where any person can find instruction in any study." Oh really?
- University of Rochester: "Better." It just goes to show you that shorter is not always, well, you know, better.
- Evergreen State College: "Let it all hang out." This is actually an accredited institution of higher learning.
- Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry: "Never tickle a sleeping dragon." You'd think that Rowena, Godric, Salazar and Helga would have come up with something slightly more spellbinding.
- Stephenson College: "One day I will rule the world." Noted alumni may include Mussolini, Hitler and Qadaffi.
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