Hello Dartmouth, and welcome back to another frigid Winter term. As I sit here watching the snow cover our campus, I once again question my decision to leave Florida for college.
Because of Hanover's terrible weather and my general aversion to wearing more clothing than Lady Gaga, I'm going to spend most of my time indoors. I'm thankful that the NBA season has finally started after a long, painful lockout. Without basketball on TV, I would have spent my entire winter watching reruns of "Real Housewives" and "Jersey Shore."- That clearly would have been a poor choice. To honor the freshly minted NBA season, I've decided to highlight four things I can't wait to write about this winter.
- Dumb Twitter comments
I find it ironic that most celebrities hire publicists to monitor their public statements while these same celebrities continue to say dumb things on Twitter. My favorite NBA moment happened last summer when Carmelo Anthony tweeted, "I got 5k for whoever see @ihatekatstacks and slap the sht out her pigeon face ass. U fckin with the right one now." To confirm his public hit on Kat Stacks, our generation's most famous rap groupie, Anthony followed up his tweet with a photo of the money. Anthony claimed that his Twitter was hacked and he didn't place a $5000 hit, but we all know that he's lying. This is comedic gold I couldn't pay for better entertainment. I'm expecting big things this year.
- Ricky Rubio, Kevin Love and the rest of the Timberwolves
I'm not expecting the Timberwolves to be an elite NBA team I don't even think they'll be a top 10 team. But they're going to be better than most people expect, and I expect them to be a competitor come playoff time. I got the chance to see Rubio play in person for F.C. Barcelona when I went to Europe last year and I came away impressed by his game. His unimpressive stats are deceiving because they don't include the intangibles he brings to the court. He's a young and athletic point guard with a pass-first mentality. As he matures, he's going to be one of the most exciting players in the league.
I like to say that me and Love go way back, but that's not true. Our only interaction occurred 12 years ago when he single-handedly dominated my team in a Little League playoff game. He pitched a perfect game and crushed my young heart. Kevin, I'm still bitter about the loss and I'm sorry I forgot to mention your nasty off-speed pitches in my previous article about you, but I'm willing to put our differences behind us because I enjoy watching you play basketball. Love is the complete package. He's a big man with a great perimeter shot who's not afraid to mix it up in the paint. I know it's a pipe dream, but I'd love to see Love suit up for my hometown Orlando Magic and play alongside Dwight Howard. Speaking of Dwight Howard
- The Dwight Howard trade fiasco
I'm a diehard Magic fan. My family has had season tickets for the past 11 years and I probably spend more time watching Magic basketball games than I do watching my four little nieces when I'm supposed to be keeping an eye on them. I usually let the TV babysit the little girls while I'm watching YouTube videos of Howard's dominating dunks. As much as it hurts me to say this, Dwight isn't going to stay in Orlando.
If you've watched the Magic this season, you can tell that Dwight's heart isn't in the game right now. He's still putting up impressive rebounding numbers, but his offensive production has regressed since last season. He's not attacking the paint like he used to and he's scoring less than his career average. Currently, Ryan Anderson is leading the Magic in scoring. Ninety percent of the people reading this will say, "Who the hell is Ryan Anderson?" and the other 10 percent will probably laugh hysterically at this statistic. Don't get me wrong, Anderson is a solid NBA player who seriously improved his game in the offseason, but everyone knows that he shouldn't score more points than Dwight Howard, the premier center of our generation.
Because Howard isn't staying, I just pray that the Magic front office will trade him before he leaves our team in shambles like LeBron James did to the Cleveland Cavaliers.
- Metta World Peace (aka The Artist Formerly Known as Ron Artest)
This is going to be a great winter for basketball. It might not be David Stern's predicted "nuclear winter," but there will always be something to write about as long as Metta World Peace is in the league.
