This is the story of sex.
I started figure skating when I was very young. I think the plan was to eventually switch over to hockey, but I ended up being really good at skating so I kinda just stuck with it. Most of the other skaters were girls. No surprise.
I was too young to care about girls for most of my skating career. Towards the end, when I started high school, we all kinda realized that boys and girls hook up and have sex. It was kinda like when you find out that Santa isn't real, but happier. The girls were all cute so that was fun. It was also a disaster.
I ended up quitting skating. One of the guys who I skated with won Olympic gold last year. I probably made a mistake.
Once on a flight here, a stranger told me that college was a flawed system.
"Having 4,000 kids with fully developed genitals black out three or four nights a week during their sexual prime just doesn't really seem reasonable," he said.
It's probably not.
After Cutter, one of the brothers in my house fell asleep in another brother's bed, threw up on the wall and pissed himself. When he woke up later that night, the first thing he asked me was whether or not he'd hooked up with a girl.
A few weeks ago, one of the brothers in my house brought a girl back to his room. She threw up in his bed, pissed on his floor, broke into another brother's room, pissed on his floor and fell asleep in a cardboard box in the hallway. We put her on a couch when we found her.
A month or so ago, I was grabbing drinks with some friends at Ramunto's. After a few, one guy looked around the table, counting. He smiled and announced that everyone there had hooked up with his ex. One of the guys there had to be, like, 47. Grim.
All of my friends have a list of girls they'd like to "slay." I'm pretty sure that's the real reason that Facebook was invented. I have never seen a guy use Facebook to stay in touch with someone. I often see guys use it to back up, "Check this chick out. I'd fuck the shit out of her." Sounds messy.
A week or two ago, I was on Facebook and someone messaged me. I asked her what was up. She told me that she was looking for someone to "play" with. I told her that it wasn't too late and that the frats were still open. I probably shouldn't have done that. She said that she was going to go out and try to seduce someone. I wished her luck.
One girl told me that her friends view the night as a failure if they don't hook up. Apparently, one of them has an outfit that she can always hook up in. I told her that was stupid. She told me that's the way things are. Things tend to be stupid, I guess.
Another girl told me that she hates it when guys actually like her. I asked her why. She said that she hates it because then they can't hook up. I don't think that I will ever understand that. She told me that she prefers just sleeping with random guys because then she doesn't have to worry about it. I guess that's because strangers are just more trustworthy. She said that free meals were the only perk when a guy was actually into her.
I haven't talked to any of the girls I used to skate with in years. I wonder how they're doing. I don't talk to most of the girls I've hooked up with either. I wonder how they're doing. But maybe I shouldn't know. That would be caring, and we wouldn't want that.
