If you had asked me last year about rush, I would have enthusiastically talked about how fun it would be to join a house. Since I visited Dartmouth as a prospie, I knew that I would want to be a part of the Greek system I would wear my letters to class, bond with my newly christened sisters and orchestrate events for all my friends on campus to attend. After spending freshman year unaffiliated, I like most of my peers was ready to go through the daunting process of rush. And after 20 hours of socializing with upperclassmen, I didn't end up in a house.
Rush was initially a pleasant surprise. I was expecting a remarkably negative process after everything that I had heard from girls who went through rush in years past. Although it was hard to ignore the evident superficiality in meeting sisters so overly eager to speak to us, rush wasn't such a nightmare. It was fun to make real connections with amazing individuals who are active members of Dartmouth's campus.
But throughout both rounds, there were shocking moments when some of my closest friends were rejected from their top houses. And things didn't seem so positive anymore.
Nobody our age is a stranger to rejection. As Don Casler wrote in his column "One Year Later," (Oct. 7), being told "you're not good enough" is one of the biggest blows to one's self-worth.
Although rush didn't work out for a large percentage of '14 girls this year, it provided a new experience. It seems that houses that previously had a stereotype accommodated widely differing personalities, interests and activities in their new pledge classes. This is something to be excited about. I am proud of my friends who accepted bids at houses they were least expecting, as well as those who ended up in the houses they wanted. But unlike all of them, I was not extended a bid.
Despite this fact, and the subsequent disappointment that followed my empty-handed walk from Collis last week, I discovered a renewed sense of self through the experience. As someone who sincerely wanted to become a part of sorority life, it took some time to see the positive in my situation. At first I was in denial and had trouble coming to terms with being unaffiliated.
Upon further reflection, I became more aware of my identity. Although in no way am I claiming that Greek houses define who a person is, it can be hard to dissociate a person from their affiliation. As an independent, I am able to be just that independent. I'm free to define my next year (or years) at Dartmouth free from the pressures of being in a house.
I also became more conscious of the social life we immerse ourselves in here. It's easy to get caught up in the idea of the Dartmouth social scene in an irrevocably Greek-dominated context. We sometimes forget to see how many people are involved on campus outside of their affiliation. Dartmouth, like each and every one of its constituents, is multi-faceted.
For those of us who were shocked or confused at the outcome of rush, and doubting our personalities or our confidence, I encourage taking a step back and reflecting on the experience. It may seem negative at first, because it's difficult to come to terms with apparent failure. But overall, I consider rush a grand life lesson.
It is impossible to judge a person based on their appearance, their activities or a five-minute conversation about what they did last summer. It is impossible to scrutinize what factors, exactly, contributed to why one did or didn't get called back to any particular sorority. And these petty considerations should not be dwelled upon. Throughout my rush experience, I re-examined what exactly I wanted from my Dartmouth career.
I realized that what I truly wanted from rush wasn't status or a new house to live in. It was the feeling of belonging to a group of girls who were passionate and involved. Although I still crave this special bond with upperclass women, for the time being, I'm looking forward to mingling with different people without the constraint of a few Greek letters.
