*Your placement in the Choates, Russell Sage or McLaughlin was arbitrary, but at Hogwarts, your ambitions, tendencies and personality quirks determine where you live, what colors you wear and the company you keep in other words, your house.**##
Want to find out whether your loyalties lie with Godric, Rowena, Salazar or Helga? Read on, but be warned: the sorting hat always knows what you're thinking and when you're lying.
After Dartmouth, you plan to:
A) work your way up the corporate ladder.
B) stay at Dartmouth and become Jim Kim's assistant or an admissions officer.
C) go to some fancy graduate school in Cambridge.
D) move to Libya and resolve civil war.
When you showed up at Dartmouth for your DOC Trip, you were:
A) nervous and tried to sneak your Blackberry past contraband. And you didn't understand why there was an '11 wearing a skintight onesie in front of Robo.
B) super excited! Where do I sign up for H-Croo??
C) confident. You had already google map'ed the route, so you essentially knew the trail better than your trip leaders did.
D) very prepared. You carried all the tarps since you brought the extra-large backpack.
The deciding factor in your admission to Dartmouth was:
A) the fact that your father, grandfather, great-grandfather and great-great-grandfather went here.
B) your brief stint on Broadway.
C) high school was a joke that only you got.
D) that one time there was a fire in your apartment building and you ran up and saved five small children. And then you were profiled by your local paper.
You have a shit ton of work to do. Your go-to study space is:
A) Um what? You don't study.
B) Collis plenty of opportunities for study breaks with friendz!!!
C) the stacks or basement of South Mass.
D) the patio of Rosey Jekes you like fresh air and sweet caffeinated drinks.
In class, you:
A) sit in the back when you show up for class, that is.
B) don't take the best notes, but you practically live for your professor's office hours.
C) sit in the first row taking obscene amounts of notes. You don't necessarily speak a lot, but you get near-perfect scores on everything.
D) are a second row regular, and take notes when you're not day dreaming about revolutionizing health policy.
On the weekends, your favorite thing to do is:
A) take a weekend trip to New York to do a little networking.
B) check out a show at the Hop, hike Mount Cardigan and eat brunch at Lou's.
C) sit in the 1902 Room writing a history paper due three weeks from now.
D) support your friends' sports teams, plan a pong tournament and do some volunteering for Habitat for Humanity.
Someone blitzes out to your class asking for the notes for a day he/she missed. You:
A) delete immediately you don't have time to compensate for the inadequacies of others.
B) don't have the notes for that day, so instead, you send over this great clip of Rachel Berry singing "Firework" on Glee.
C) delete immediately giving away your notes would be like handing out free Galleons!
D) blitz back with all of your notes from the past five classes.
You are interested in that cutie in your chem class. You:
A) ask them to late-night Canoe Club.
B) chat them up after class about the Dostoevsky tome you saw sticking out of their bag. You love Russian literature.
C) ask them if they want to get a head start on studying for your chem final but you still study lots beforehand. You don't really get much out of group study sessions anyway.
D) have a picnic on top of Mount Moosilauke.
Where/how do you work out?
A) Get to the gym at 3:53 p.m. and take the treadmill with the working TV until 5:23 p.m.
B) Divide time evenly between aerobic exercise, weight-training and free yoga classes.
C) Jog to the gym run for 43 minutes on the treadmill complete with 17-minute ab workout then jog back to your room.
D) Run Pine Park, Rip Road and Occom maybe stop for a philosophizing break by the pond.
Where do you get your news?
A) Read the Financial Times (useful to cite in econ class), watch SportsZone and scan Yahoo! News.
B) Skim The D every morning at breakfast, keep up with your hometown paper and read Newsweek cover-to-cover every week.
C) The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and Financial Times erryday.
D) The New York Times online subscription "All the News That's Fit to Print!" Plus you love the daily "Headlines" email.
How do you treat freshmen?
A) Become best friends with the freshman Olympic gold medalist in attempt to appear on SportsCenter.
B) Wave and smile at all nervous-looking new faces during the first month of Fall term, and then develop nicknames for all your favorites.
C) Alternate taking coffee requests from the freshmen who live next to you in 1902.
D) Invite all the freshmen on your club soccer team to your off-campus house for a BBQ.
You need a third class. You:
A) take ENGS 5.
B) take linear algebra you'd love to double major in philosophy and math.
C) don't need a third class you need a fourth.
D) do an independent study on anthropocentrism in "The Cat in the Hat."
It's Thursday afternoon, and you don't have class and or any urgent work. You:
A) go to office hours, take a nap, then play some pong.
B) catch up on the week's news and last Friday's Mirror, duh. Then call your mom and check in on your little sister.
C) update an Excel document of future course offerings.
D) call up your DREAM mentee and have a spontaneous mentoring/hang-out sesh.
What/where do you eat?
A) FoCo allll the time. Facetime is as important as foodtime. Unless you're eating at the Hanover Inn with a prof.
B) Collis breakfast, lunch and dinner.
C) Veggie and hummus wraps from Novack.
D) Take food from FoCo to go and eat on the Green or in bad weather, hit up the Co-op for some goat cheese salad.
RESULTS!
If you answered mostly (A)s, you are Slytherin!
You are cunning, ambitious and resourceful. You take full advantage of the opportunities that you're provided, but sometimes this manifests itself in resume boosting and social climbing. Even in areas where you are not the "best," you still find a way to come out on top with your cunning and enterprising nature.
If you answered mostly (B)s, you are Hufflepuff!
You are loyal, dedicated and friendly. You love meeting new people and trying new things, and you never shy away from a potentially awkward situation. You can also be over-friendly and overly-excited if there's such a thing as "too nice," you're it. You are great in social settings, but because of that, you have a tendency to form a lot of superficial relationships.
If you answered mostly (C)s, you are Ravenclaw!
You are witty, intelligent and driven. You are reliable and know what it takes to get things done. Unfortunately, your desire to succeed can make you incredibly compulsive and super intense. You have lofty academic goals and are more than capable of achieving them but this can often compromise your better judgment.
If you answered mostly (D)s, you are Gryffindor!
You are courageous and compassionate, often biting off more than you can chew. You are moral, bordering on self-righteous. You want to do everything right, but you can sometimes be blinded by your goals and aspirations.
If there's anything we've learned from J.K. Rowling, it's not only that any person, regardless of house, has the potential to rise to greatness (hi Snape!), but also that the house you're sorted into does not define you you shape your house's character. As Dumbledore says in Book Two, "It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." You are what you choose to be.