I hate fancy food terms. Sure, the word "aioli" may roll off the tongue, but how hard is it to just say "dip"? I mean, how many times have you sat down at a nice restaurant, been handed the menu and then just stared at it for a good 10 minutes just trying to decipher it all? What is beurre blanc? We're in Amurka! Why would they call it beurre blanc anyway? Isn't all butter white? Why would I want my beurre to be anything BUT blanc? And then you just feel stupid when it's finally time to order and you think you know how to pronounce "bouillabaisse" and it comes out more like "boo-ya-bus."
In particular, one dish whose many names never cease to amaze me essentially consists of boiled cornmeal mush. Some call it grits. Others call it polenta. Some even call it coosh. Or harapash. Or kachamak. Or meali pap (I'm wondering why that one never caught on). The dish is delicious, but sometimes I wish restaurants would just stop putting items like "roast lamb with cheddar coosh" on the menu so that people don't immediately think they are going to be served a plush toy. This week's dish isn't exactly ground cornmeal, but it's a variation of cheesy polenta/harapash/grits (or whatever you'd like to call it) with sauted mushrooms that uses oatmeal instead of cornmeal to achieve essentially the same texture and taste.1. Head to Collis. Have a small plate of mushrooms from the salad bar sauted in the stir-fry line. Then add salt and pepper. (If you want to avoid the line, grab some mushrooms, drizzle olive oil, salt and pepper on them and stick them in the microwave for 2-3 minutes. Same result.)2. Get a packet of original oatmeal and empty it into a soup cup.3. Add just enough boiling water to cover the top of the oatmeal.4. Pile on a heap of cheese from the salad bar.5. Add additional salt and pepper to taste. Mix until the cheese has melted into the oatmeal and the salt and pepper are fully incorporated.6. Top it off with the sauted mushrooms.7. Drizzle a bit more olive oil on top if you want to give it a little something extra.
Next time you're at a restaurant trying to figure out what exactly the "coulis" on your cheesecake entails, know that you are not alone. But at the same time, don't be afraid to leave your comfort zone and give something foreign-sounding a try.
