I'm no expert on women's fashion, or any fashion for that matter. Still, there are two fashion trends among females in Hanover that just don't make sense. What's the deal with those giant tote bags? Or more importantly, JEGGINGS??
Before I came to Dartmouth, I thought there was only one way to carry things around: backpacks. Then I saw the flocks of females that carry those huge shoulder bags. I can only imagine the arm-ripping pain there is absolutely no lumbar support with those things. Tell me this: Is it any different than getting a brown paper bag from the Co-op and wrapping it around your shoulder?
Now the crux of my article: JEGGINGS AREN'T PANTS. Rembert Browne '09 once wrote about the leggings epidemic in The Mirror, concluding that he was "worried for the lives and the legs of the women of Dartmouth."
Agreed. Jeggings are leggings on steroids. Even worse, they have fostered a Dartmouth community where lying is OK. Every day I must I do a double-take when passing anyone wearing jeans and ask myself if they are, in fact, 100 percent American cotton jeans or imposter-fake-pseudo-leggings. It's a life of self-doubt and lying, when said jeggings are passed off as pants. I get that they're super duper comfortable, but are "super cute" fake jeans worth breaking the Honor Code?
Stop kidding yourself those things can't be warm either.
Does the stretchiness of these "pants" counterbalance your impending hypothermia? Yeah, they might let your hips do some superhuman dance gyrations at the Heorot highlighter party, but what do you do with your ID and cell phone? The zippers and pockets on those things don't even work.
Long story short: If you're going to wear jeggings, you might as well wear snow pants or no pants.
I'm not hating. To be fair, if these trends are fly in NYC/Milan (doubtful), they're more than good enough for Hanover.
