'14 Guy: I just now got out of bed. I slept with a garbage can next to me. I took 11 shots.'12 Guy: Wow, that's more than Dartmouth's acceptance rate.
Ex-Fraternity President: I should've gone Phi Delt.
'12 BG: This is the ill oxymoron right here Cheeze-Its in my cardigan.
'12 Girl: Who's your favorite singer?'12's Dad: Definitely Bruce Springsteen or Ludacris.
'11 Sig Ep: I dropped my 2a today because I didn't want to be hung over in it.
'14 Guy on Spring Break: Sometimes when I'm drunk, I look in the mirror and I'm surprised to find I'm Asian.
'11 Guy: I defriended my pastor, but I'm still friends with my mom.
