There are very few things that over half of Dartmouth students like. There are even fewer things that over half of Dartmouth students physically take part in.
Other than taking classes and waiting in the Novack line before 10s, the first thing that comes to mind is the Greek system.
Like all great things, the Greek system has its detractors, but as over 70 percent of eligible students end up joining a house, I think it's safe to say that Dartmouth loves the Greek scene (I refuse to use <3 as in our issue title).
But this isn't about what Dartmouth loves it's about what the 70 percent of us who aren't in the library at 10 pm on Wednesday nights love. It's tough to look at a group of over 2,500 (disclaimer: totally made-up statistic) people and pinpoint a few things loved by each and every one of them.
Some would call it an impossible task. I call it my first Mirror article. Here is the official list of what the Greek scene loves:
1) Judging people
This is so ingrained into Greek culture that we talk about it like it's no big deal. What exactly is a rush event? It's an invitation to come to a house and be judged for a couple hours. Ever heard someone say, "I'm so tired I was in delibs until three last night"?
They may as well be telling you, "I'm so tired I spent SIX HOURS judging people last night." This extends to subtly judging GDIs, probably to make up for never having had the chance to judge them during rush.
2) Telling everyone how much you love your house
Maybe there were 15 people in the basement with some bad rap music, but that's not going to stop you from bragging about the sick dance party that was happening last night. Maybe you have to have meetings in the lodge, but it's only a short walk to Gusanoz. Maybe several people fell asleep during your rush event, but you definitely won rush. Maybe you're in Heorot.
3) Complaining about your house
The only thing that can match the love of 2,500 students for their Greek houses is how much they love complaining about their houses.
This is usually done with another member of your house, but complaints can also be shared with a member of a different house with similar gripes.
Popular grievances include: actually having to pay dues, people who don't pay dues and the performance of any and all house officers.
4) Homeplate paninis
Once you rush, you're guaranteed to always know someone in the front of the line.5.Blitzing out to campus
Your house obviously throws the best parties, so it would be a disaster if all of campus didn't know that your house was hosting the "Original Original 80s Party!" or better yet, your house is full of great, generous people and you're having a bake sale for charity. Apple+D.
6) Not serving alcohol to minors
This is one of the principles on which the Greek scene was founded. Save for a few missteps, which I might add are being swiftly dealt with by Nick Giaccone's hammer of justice, the Greek system as a whole would never consider serving alcohol to minors. It is actively working to keep drinking out of regulated social spaces and in freshmen dorm rooms, where it belongs.
7) Ultimate Frisbee
Just kidding.
8) Ripping on other Greek organizations
What better way to assert how much you love your house than making blanket statements that stereotype and put down another house?
These insults are rarely creative, and generally take the form of: "Everybody in [house name] is so [derogatory adjective]." For the less clever, there's the standard: "F*ck [house name]."
9) Stealing from you
Once everyone becomes accustomed to people treating their houses like a cheap hotel room on their 18th birthday, the amount of effort they put into being good hosts drastically diminishes. Since you act like their beer/basement/bathrooms/composites are yours, your North Face is also fair game. Surprise.
10) Self-calls
See numbers 1, 2, 4, 5, 6 and 8, plus the introduction.
