There's no getting around it. The morning after the Super Bowl ushers in one of the more brutal month-long periods of the year for sports fans. The glory of Sundays jam-packed with NFL games has been dwindling for weeks. The college bowl season is a distant memory. Not even ESPN's Joe Lunardi really fills out his bracket until late February. So we're left with regular-season NBA and NHL games, and the anticipation of the NFL draft. Throw in some MLB hot stove talk, and there's your February: The month where nobody cares about sports.
Like adaptive primates, sports fans know how to survive the lean times. They increase their fat stores during times of sports-bounty gorging themselves on heaps of "Sunday NFL Countdown," "College Gameday" and fully-loaded nachos during the fall. They savor every last morsel of primetime match-ups and try to devour as many blue cheese-soaked buffalo wings as possible when Joe Buck throws it back to Curt Menafee in the FOX studio for a game break.
So by the time the doldrums of late winter arrive, we should theoretically have had our fill and be ready to hibernate for at least a month, needing only the occasional Celtics-Heat game or Blake Griffin highlight to sustain ourselves. But sometimes it's not enough, and it leaves me reminiscent of better times. Even here in our Dartmouth bubble (sidenote: someone actually needs to investigate the possibility of a tent/dome that can enclose the entire town of Hanover for the winter months), spectator sports fluctuate from season to season. And there are certainly more ideal times than others to go out and watch the Big Green play. So, in case you are missing it, here are the benefits of being a Dartmouth fan for all seasons:
1) Fall As you wake up slightly after noon on a brisk autumn day, you look outside and are startled by the number of cars you see parked on the street as loyal alums flock to Hanover to show that they were in Sphinx and discuss how they remember "a lot more students coming out to the games." You're drawn to Memorial Field by the distant tones of the public address system and alluring smell of cheap DDS hotdogs, which, along with a blue Powerade, will probably be your breakfast. President Kim does his best Fireman Ed impression to get the crowd hyped, inspiring one desperate freshman to storm the field where he easily eludes both Safety and Security and the 70-year-old townie working as Event Staff. For the nightcap, you and your six buddies pile into a four seat car for the extremely manageable yet universally avoided walk to Burnham Field for the soccer game. You eagerly anticipate a Dartmouth goal (just to see the celebration) and listen as pseudo-hipsters/frat brothers duke it out over who can come up with the most alternative way to taunt the opposing team, while Hanover Police waits for the one over-the-line comment that might allow them to earn some commission on a Diversions victim.
2) Winter You head to the squash courts much earlier than you wanted to on a Saturday because your friend told you this was the big match of the year. Fans are confused whether to cheer during or after the points. You prematurely start to celebrate when you think a shot is going to be a definite winner, but it is easily retrieved by the opposing player and everybody looks at you condescendingly. The point goes on for 10 minutes and you realize that you have no idea what is happening. Conveniently, the home basketball game is right next door. You are overwhelmed by the number of in-game promotions, and even more surprised when despite being one of 11 people in the student section you fail to win a prize. When they commence the free EBAs giveaway, you ensure that you won't get one by being the only person in the arena to stand on your seat and proclaim that you brought your own ranch dressing.
3) Spring It's a beautiful out. For the first time in a while, you pat yourself on your back for your decision to attend Dartmouth. With the end of classes only a few weeks away, you roll up your sleeves and soak in some sun while watching the Dartmouth baseball team pound homers off of Leverone Field House. You chuckle intermittently at the clever hecklers behind you and then grimace uncomfortably as that girl makes an awkward taunt that nobody really laughs at. Finally deeming it nice enough out to walk to Burnham Field, you take a seat on the bleachers to watch the men's lacrosse game. After a couple of minutes, you start to feel oddly out of place without oversized sunglasses and a sundress. You take a look around and immediately notice that you're surrounded by sorority girls, Blackberrys in hand.
4) Summer There are things to look forward to in the summer as well running away from the docks as Safety and Security tries to keep people out of the river could very well evolve into Hanover's own version of the running of the bulls. And there's always the opportunity to take IM sports way too seriously.
