They say you can't judge a book by its cover. Does that mean you can't judge Dartmouth by an admission book? Who cares, nobody reads books anymore. In this iPad/Obama/Jersey Shore generation, anything and everything is communicated via the Internet an all-encompassing source of pleasure, learning and social activity.
Enter YouTube, the greatest site to ever exist a hybrid, if you will, of Netflix and Google. Why go out and experience the world when the world can come to you via a single search term? Is it bad that any remnant of a "normal" social life is getting displaced by YouTube? That's neither here nor there. What is important is the question: What kind of impression are people getting when they discard searches for "Bieber's new haircut" in exchange for "Dartmouth College" on YouTube?
So I performed some true investigative journalism. A simple search of "Dartmouth" produces over 12 pages of what you would expect: speeches by JYK, a capella by the Aires, admissions propaganda and old-school Winter Carnival footage. Sunshine, ponies and rainbows! To the YouTube layman (hi Mom), Dartmouth comes off as a powerhouse Ivy institution in the woods guiding the diverse, brilliant youth of our future.
Yawn. But what about the Internet-savvy surfers with too much time, the overly anxious prospie, the '75 that just can't let go, the Dartmouth hater from Harvard? What do they come up with? It doesn't take long to uncover some very striking, very candid videos.The U: Dartmouth College: An unofficial guide to Dartmouth created by a counseling company trying to reap gold from the tragedy that is college admissions. In this super weird portrayal of Dartmouth, the creators attempt (and fail) to bridge admissions mumbojumbo with MTV TRL. First of all, the buildings look NOTHING like they do in real life. Then there's this dude in a blue polo talking about how he goes out every Weds, Fri, Sat and "sometimes Mondays," and this girl hyping up a futon she uses to "handle the guy situation." The cinematic highlight is a guided tour of, wait for it, GDX (because we all hang out there, right?). By the end of the video you're thinking, "Is this real life?"
Drinking Time: A classic by the Jacko (do they still exist?). We all saw it in HS, and it's the cause of all "Um, so like drinking?" questions asked by mothers on admissions tours. Keggy marching down frat row in front of an unsuspecting tour group? Dartmouth at its silliest.
FINALS by Young Ivy: A musical number by Dartmouth's greatest (and only) rapper, Simon Trabelsi '08 aka Young Ivy. His legacy kind of died with the Class of 2012, but this video, featuring Keggy chasing Young Ivy around Baker Library, with its catchy chorus "F*ck, I Never Actually Learned Shit" truly captures the plight of many Dartmouth students.
Dartmouth student drinks 6 cups of beer in under 10 seconds: Self explanatory. Arguably shot in Chi Gam (others say Heorot), the bro featured in this video is quite possibly the fastest, most passionate drinker of the Ivy League a true master of his trade. This video may give us some street cred compared to state schools, but if we want to stay on top, I think its time for an updated version, as I feel like I've seen the record broken in real life on several occasions.
Psi U Keg Jump (2000) versus Dartmouth Frat Party (2009): Dartmouth's changed a lot over the past decade. Apparently the frattiness of Psi U hasn't. One video shows a bunch of dudes jumping over 10+ kegs on ice skates. The other follows a bunch of Jack Wills (British clothing company) reps hanging out with shirtless dudes in a frat basement at "Dartmouth University." Then they do a "hangover hike." Must be a European thing.
Dartmouth College Psych 28 Class: Cognition w/ Bill Kelley: This may be video proof that not all majors are created equal. I try not to hate on psych majors, but this five minute video shows a girl playing a Hannah Montana Wii game IN CLASS to get extra credit. IS THIS A JOKE?
Girl KO's guy in one punch: This hidden gem, a viral video with over seven million views, is truly our claim to fame. A young man in Heorot is socked so hard by a girl that he slams face forward on a pong table. Need I remind you that this video predates the Snookie-getting-punched incident.
DARTMOUTH DID IT FIRST.
