Truth: Time to face the facts "The Perfect Term" never actually happens at Dartmouth.
When the bone-chilling sting of a Hanover winter begins to set in and people morph into unrecognizable blobs, masked in their hooded parkas and woolly scarves, it suddenly hits you: Everyone who's not on campus in the winter is currently having a better term than you.
No, really, it's true. It's not your imagination playing tricks on you. Your friends in France and Spain and New Zealand are, in fact, happier than you are. When their Facebook statuses and albums read: "11W BEST TERM OF MY LIFE," they're not lying. Do you really want to post about your last game of pong in an empty Phi Delt basement when your friends are living it up abroad?
Probably not. And that's because you, along with 99.9 percent of our campus, suffer from "Anywhere But Hanover" syndrome.
But don't worry the side effects aren't all that bad. "Anywhere But Hanover" is more like an itch you can never quite scratch. Just like EBAs, "Anywhere But Hanover" never leaves you feeling completely satisfied.
It all starts with the tantalizing promise of a future off-term. You start to get restless, anxious even. Where to go, what to do, how to choose? Maybe you research some FSPs or attend a few internship info sessions. You might make a stop at Career Services, then realize it's a waste of time and teach yourself to navigate DartBoard instead.
In the beginning, the possibilities seem endless, and the hypothetical horizon is full of nothing but clear blue skies. How could you ever be happy again in plain ol' Hanover when you could be sipping a latte at a cafe in Paris? Or interning in NYC and partying like every weekend is Green Key? The world is your oyster, and you refuse to settle for anything short of spectacular.
So you apply for a million and one different programs, jobs and internships. You get rejected! So you apply again. Welcome to Dartmouth.
At the end of the day, you finally find the perfect off-term, that term that is going to make you a real person (i.e. no pong for ten weeks). You find the perfect internship, that perfect service experience. Look out world, cause here you come!
Then that itching feeling starts up again. You can't wait to leave Dartmouth.
No more classes finally rid of Orgo!
No more annoying PE distribs goodbye, 8 a.m. yoga!
No more being sick all the time take THAT, Dick's House, for telling me I was pregnant when I in fact had laryngitis!
You are unspeakably excited for your first real term away from Dartmouth (because freshman Summer doesn't count), and the long-anticipated best term of your life finally arrives. But then that damn itching feeling starts again. Yes, you're finally at your job/internship/exotic locale, only it's not quite as awesome as you had envisioned.
Why am I not allowed to play solitaire on company computers? I thought I was like, the most awesome intern ever! Since when did I spend so much money on alcohol and clubs? So NOT awesome.
"I MISS YOU, DARTMOUTH," you sob.
After a while, your Facebook status updates change from "11W: SHAZAM I OWN LIFE" to "5 days until I return to Hanover!!!"
Thankfully, like the father of the prodigal son, Dartmouth welcomes you back with open arms. All is forgiven. No, your backhand save isn't that terrible. We still love you. But don't you go wandering off like that again, Dartmouth chides.
Only you will. Because, though you run with open arms back into Dartmouth's warm, fratty embrace, it's not quite how you remembered it. It's a little stickier and a bit more grimy than you recall.
"Is that really boot clinging to his shoe?"
"Does he seriously not notice?"
"Eww. Does she not notice either?"
The spell is broken. Dartmouth is no longer perfect. And, now that you think about it, you realize that off-term wasn't so bad. Wonder what you'll do next. I bet that next off-term will be your best term yet!
