Last week I wrote a column titled "P90Xing with Dolan." The only issue was about halfway through I realized there was no shot I could finish in one column. While one option when you can't finish is just to fake it, that's a little shameful, so I decided to make it a two-part piece.
In case you missed it, last week's column focused on why I got into P90X (I thought my body was too soft), what P90X is (a 90-day workout program that uses karate, yoga, resistance bands and lots of other jumping-around moves) and who leads it (Tony Horton, the Richard Simmons of P90X). In general, the reaction was pretty positive, with the exception of the part where I claimed that I used to be more fit than my friends from home and they all challenged the fact. Luckily I'm not LeBron so I don't always listen to whatever my friends say. (Google LeBron's new commercial.)
Anyway, over the course of the past week a bunch of people have asked me if I regret spending so much money on P90X. At first, I wasn't sure how to respond to this, but as I thought about it more and more, the answer become clear to me all I had to do was look at why I got into P90X and see if I accomplished my goals. So without further delay, here's a list of my main goals and their current statuses.1) Get in shape
This was mostly just so I'd feel better about myself. The only issue so far is I do plenty of things that probably wipe out most of the benefits of P90X. For example, let's say one day I wake up and do an hour of P90X, then that night party until 2 a.m. and order a chicken tender basket with extra ranch and a bottle of Coke. Am I more or less healthy than when the day started? Unclear.2) To be better at sports
One of P90X's biggest claims is that it makes you better at all sports, ranging from basketball to tennis. The program reinforces this theme so much that I was confident I was going to be spinning like Boobie Miles the next time I walked onto a field. So far, this has not been the case. I still suck at IM soccer.
Before moving on, I think one thing about IM sports here needs to be addressed. Last week, my team had a soccer game and although nine people are supposed to play, we only had seven (or as one of my friends put it, more like 6.5 players because I'm garbage). Anyway, although we agreed to play two men down, we were not allowed to because the "rulebook says you need nine." Um, what's the point of IM sports? Apparently it's not to just have fun. I watched the Jim Kim Bowl on Wednesday and was praying that he wouldn't be allowed to play because of some dumb rule, so he could experience what we go though.
Also, Jim, I know you played QB in high school but I gotta be honest, it looked to me like you must have lost some zing on your throw. The way to get it back might be P90X, so let me know if you want to do some sessions together.3) Girls
I stared at this goal for about 15 minutes trying to figure out what to say. I decided there's no upside to making any jokes here or releasing any information. Trust me though, I'm not happy about this, it's a sign of maturity that's making me feel old. 4) Survive my Halloween costume
This is kind of a minor goal but at the same time pretty important. On Thursday, Joey Zimring '11 and I put on custom-made "Rollin' with Dolan" shirts, tied ourselves together and pranced around on roller skates all night. My main objective here was not to die. I'm certainly a little bruised, but in general, mission accomplished.
I credit this completely to P90X. There are about 15 moves in the program that help with balance. Without having done those, there's no doubt I'd have been hospitalized off a wipe out.
So to conclude, P90X saved me from serious injury or death on Thursday. I think that ends the debate. Thanks, Tony.
