You've donned your crisp Brooks Brothers suit. You've practiced your game-changing first impression the assured smile, steady eye contact and firm-but-not-death-grip handshake. And you've pored over the 146 most frequently asked questions sent out by Women in Business.
You're totes ready for that Goldman interview right?
Wrong.
You thought you'd be OK preparing for just 10 of those 146 most-asked questions sent out by WiB? Or that "preparing" was synonymous with typing your answers in bed while checking blitz and memorizing rush lyrics with Ke$ha on repeat?? Or that "suit" really just meant a blazer and khakis for us college kids?!?
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
Lest you misunderstand, I'm not just a bitter, judgmental basket case. Let me clarify: I'm judgmental and bitter and definitely a basket case but only because I killed a kitten with my bare hands when I was four I want to help you ace that interview.
Read: that non-case study interview. Future consultants, you're on your own. My advice? Start counting the number of manhole covers in New York City. @now.
For the rest of you facing the corporate hot seat, read on. You'll be sure to impress even the most frightening of financiers.
Before ever offering your clammy hand for that first firm shake, you must internalize a simple yet often unintuitive truism: in an interview, honesty is the best policy.
You may already know, for example, that many recent Dartmouth graduates already work at your desired place of employment. If you're also hoping to be employed after graduation, don't pretend to know these grads if you don't and remember the name of the person you're talking to.
Not quite convinced? It may seem easy to overeagerly blurt a simple "Yea, I know him!" and move onto the next interview question, but trust me: you're setting yourself up for trouble. The imminent inquiry, "So how did you know Stevey Johnson anyway?" is sure to follow.
Your seemingly smooth, off-the-cuff response "We worked on the Students for Chinese Checkers service project together!" is about as interview-proof as Dell laptops are reliable (huge mistake, '14s). The white lie is easily exposed especially when you remember, post-interview, that your interviewer introduced himself as Steven. Steven Johnson.
Ouch.
My advice? Contact the Dartmouth grads before you even think about interviewing. You'll learn more about the interview process, the position and the firm's internal dynamics and maybe even other Dartmouth grads' names to drop.
Speaking of 100 percent purely hypothetical name-dropping scenarios, if your inside-man is Chase Bradley, don't name-drop a Bradley Chase. Your interviewer knows Chase and now officially hates you.
In summary, be honest but not too honest. Case in point:
Storgan Manley Interviewer: I always love being back at Dartmouth to interview students, but we actually recruit students from Wharton more frequently.
Fast-talking '12: Wharton? My sister goes to Penn! Actually, she just started there. In the College of Arts and Sciences, I mean. She's studying physics, but she's really there to marry a Wharton man!
Interviewer: I don't know how to respond to that. Er are you here to marry a Wharton man?
Shit.
Fast-talking '12 may not have just eaten barbecued guinea pig from a "totally legit" street-vendor in Ecuador, but she definitely still suffered an awful case of diarrhea diarrhea of the mouth, that is.
Control yourself: both situations are preventable. That cui may have looked mighty tasty and that Wharton reference may have seemed like a great segue into your family history, but resist.
Before responding to questions or comments, take time to breathe and collect your thoughts. Interviewers understand if you're naturally nervous but they'll expect you to control the word-vom.
...and the giggling. To the guy who laughed uncontrollably during the first 10 minutes of my Meditation and Relaxation class, you probably shouldn't do that. First impressions are lasting impressions, and it's going to take a lot more than a strong handshake and unwavering eye contact to ameliorate that blunder.
Interviewers will also expect you to dress appropriately for interviews. If your food-baby is kicking and screaming and straining the buttons of your jacket and that jacket also happens to date back to your Bar Mitzvah toss that sucker out with a vengeance like leavened bread on Passover. Oy vey.
This really need not be mentioned, but from the looks of the shrunken sports coats and myriad high waters sported at the latest Bain presentation, my male counterparts are either (a) frequently fording the Connecticut or (b) in desperate need of a new corporate wardrobe.
The sad state of the world is this, my friends: if your suit fits, you're a head above the rest or at least a few of the rest, it seems. But you'll have to do better than that to land a job offer.
Next time you stress about the suit or the killer resume review or the hectic interview schedule, remember the irony of your sad situation: you CHOSE it. You made your own bed, so lie in it at least until tomorrow's 7:00 a.m. interview. My guess? The College's crme de la crme will be there, and armed with the power of my worldly wisdom or at least the fear of a Freudian slip so will you.
