It's Green Key. Relax, it's the most fun weekend of the year. Well except for those '13's who think "Parents Weekend" is the best weekend. Those kids have some growing up to do.
Green Key is a time for celebration. It's like Dartmouth's form of Thanksgiving. If you have anything to celebrate or give thanks for, celebrate it this weekend. And by weekend, I mean the extended kind the one that started on Wednesday and continues without stop through Sunday.
Just in case you were looking for cause to celebrate, I'm here to give you a few reasons that should motivate you to leave the Stacks or First Floor Berry and get some real facetime.
Dartmouth Baseball rules the Ivy League
By now I'm sure you've read about the baseball team winning the Ivy League crown after it knocked out Columbia in game three last weekend. Not to toot my own horn, but didn't I say several months ago that they would dominate this year and place themselves as a permanent fixture in your hearts? Okay, I might have only said one of those things, but seriously, these guys are legit.
After getting lit up by the University of North Carolina and Kansas University last year at the NCAA Regionals, the team has regrouped and will now put its experience and perseverance on the line when they compete at Regionals this time around. So here's to the team of the decade (and our only consistently winning program): May you show everyone that kids from Hanover know how to hang out and get involved. Oh, and also show them that Dartmouth can dominate in baseball; you know, obviously the main goal.
Awards for Dartmouth athletes are pouring in
For those of you who aren't varsity athletes and, no, pong doesn't count you should live vicariously through the student-athletes who have been reaping the awards for their great successes, on and off the field.
Lacrosse player Casey Hingtgen '10 and track star Priscilla Trojano '12 were recently named to their respective sports' First Team All-Ivy squads. Cheers to them.
Additionally, Mike Lewis '11 was recently named a Scholar Athlete by the College Squash Association. He is the first player on Dartmouth's men's squash team to receive the award. These athletes couldn't hang out that much during their seasons because of their athletic commitment, so hang out with them now.
Alumni are in town
If there were ever a chance for you to clinch your first-ever pong victory, this is the perfect opportunity. Unless the alumni that return to campus for Green Key were ridiculous pong players, you have the chance to notch victory No. 1 when they get on table this weekend.
These veterans will come back to campus believing they can pick up their dusty game after having been playing "Beirut" for however long they have been out of commission. It is your chance no, it is your duty to prove them wrong. Just don't pull a "Game Five Choke-fest," like LeBron James did on Tuesday night, and get demolished by a bunch of rusty veterans.
Also, as a side note to any avid Beirut "players" out there, Beirut isn't real pong. I know students at other colleges take that game so seriously, paddles make things complicated, but it's actually a joke. Even the most novice athlete can stand there and throw a ball into significantly larger cups than the ones used here at Dartmouth. Pong takes coordination, movement, skill. Beirut get out of here.
Class is "canceled" today
As if you needed another excuse to rage, most professors have cancelled class, knowing that students will most likely either a) not show up or b) grudgingly walk in hung over and ask the professor if the clock is going slower than usual. I'm not implying you should skip class, I'm just saying that if you have friends who will diligently take notes for you, then take them up on the offer.
Ahh, Green Key. It should be a national holiday, in which everyone around the country takes time off from anything they're doing and spends several days just enjoying themselves with friends and acquaintances. This is the time for you to be that crazy college student your parents fear you'll become. Give them a call, tell them you're in perfect health and then hang out. You know you want to.
