So just a word of caution to everyone who has yet to do the term-off/internship thing: Be ready to feel old.
All those Tuesdays when you don't leave your room until it's dark outside? Gone. The option of waking up and deciding class just isn't happening today? History.
It's tough.
What's scariest though is how quickly you turn into your co-workers. For instance, the first few days of my internship I was shocked by how the only thing people talked about was reality TV. It seemed that all these people did was watch TV.
Fast-forward to roughly four weeks into my internship and I was actively a part of all of these conversations. I started watching TV way too much. It got bad.
Can I tell you the names of the last four women kicked off The Bachelor? Yes. Did I once watch the movies Beverly Hills Ninja and Beverly Hills Chihuahua back-to-back? Yup. Am I proud of either of those facts? Eh, shit happens.
Plus, I'll say this much: if you ever want a crash course on how to manage those "what are we" relationship talks, watch The Bachelor. The main guy can talk his way out of anything and the women always seem more than satisfied with him. He's the Mr. Miyagi of tough relationship talks. I'm convinced even if he was the guy caught "banging on the bathroom floor" in Shaggy's "Wasn't Me," the dude could talk his way out of it.
So with all this TV watching, when the NCAA tournament rolled around I was more than ready for marathon sessions of watching basketball. I filled out a bracket and felt great about it.
Then, of course, I watched a few ESPN analysts make their picks, ended up second guessing myself, and completely changed my bracket.
I know I broke the bracketology golden rule No. 1, which is to just go with your gut, but you know how it is. You hear that team A had a poor conference tournament or that team B played poorly against ranked opponents. Or even worse, you hear about a star player on an unknown team who could potentially lead a Stephen Curry-like run. You get overwhelmed and flustered by all the varying opinions. Inevitably you start completely changing your bracket and doing things like picking No. 13 team to get to the Elite 8. It gets ugly.
It was this process of second guessing that led me to pick No. 6 Notre Dame to go all the way to the Final Four. I know, I know what the hell was I on at the time?
First game of the entire tournament, Notre Dame loses. Literally, they lost in the first game of the first round on the first day. All four of the 16 seeds were still in the tournament, and one of my Final Four teams was gone.
You know that feeling when you're playing a videogame basketball game and you just can't hit any shots? You start questioning everything about what you're doing; Am I holding the shoot button too long? Do I even have an offensive game plan at all? Did this kid I'm playing put on some cheap cheat code? You just feel helpless.
That's what it's like when your teams go down in the tournament. There's nothing you can do about it and for the rest of the tournament you can't enjoy the games nearly as much as you would have if your teams were still in it.
Not only that, but now you have to spend the next few weeks listening to all of the "great picks" your friends made. It's a similar feeling to how the girl who quit MTV's Jersey Shore after the first week must feel now. Bitter.
Speaking of the Jersey Shore, I think The Situation needs to be the next Bachelor. The guy already thinks every girl he meets wants a piece, so why not put him on a show where that's actually the case. Plus, every time the Situation speaks, it's hilarious, so there's no way this wouldn't be entertaining. Who wouldn't watch this? The only person I can maybe think of is the Pope, and even that's a big maybe.
So anyway, if you're like me and your Final Four teams have long been out of it, I've got some good news for you. The majority of people who still have a chance in their pools will lose in a devastating fashion this weekend. It will be great to watch them suffer. Those will be more fun to watch than the games themselves. Plus, if you're out of it because you didn't pick Duke, good for you. At least you still have your dignity.
