The airline industry is without a doubt the single most consumer-friendly industry. They saw just how much we loved those extra fees on baggage, so they've decided to introduce a new $45 fee on carry-on items you want to put in the overhead. This new fee, unveiled by industry pioneer Spirit Airlines, not only encourages you to pack more efficiently, but also is bound to make your trip easier by eliminating the bag you'd have to cram into an overflowing overhead compartment. Oh boy, I can't wait to see what they charge me for next. I just love being economically coerced by airlines!
If you're not familiar with the airline, Spirit is relatively new in the industry, featuring many flights between the United States and the Caribbean. They're no strangers to questionable business practices. In previous ad campaigns, they have sent e-mails to their customers stating, "We're having a threesome. Join us in the fun" (referencing a three-for-one flight deal), as well as a "MILF Special" ("Many Islands Low Fares," in which the tagline was, "Hotter and cheaper than ever!"). I'm convinced that their marketing department is run by a 13-year-old who just discovered that you can find porn online.
Ostensibly, the fee is supposed to help the average customer. Spirit Airlines seems to believe that there is a "carry-on bag crisis;" but while it is frustrating to watch simpletons struggle with basic spatial geometry, I don't think any of us are in a state of panic. Spirit Airlines is forever optimistic about this fabricated crisis of theirs. They "see this as an opportunity to lower your fare even further," arguing that the fare reduction this will allow them will outweigh the new fee. Although the CEO's message concerning the fee on the airline's website is quite folksy and charming, the numbers belie their intentions. Flights to Kingston, Jamaica, already can be found for as low as $60 before taxes. Now, bearing in mind that at the airport, one checked bag is $25 and one carry-on is $45, the theoretical passenger has already seen the cost of the flight more than double with a standard amount of luggage. Additional fees and taxes only drive the final cost higher. Unless the airline plans to cut that fare down by $45 to compensate, they're making a pretty nice profit off of anyone with a carry-on.
This would be a non-issue if this fee was an isolated case. Sadly, airlines around the world are working day and night to find out where they can pinch that last dollar from you. Ryanair, another discount airline based in Ireland, has been recently considering having passengers pay an additional fee to use the restroom on board as well as removing two of the three restrooms on board to add more seats. This isn't idle chat; Ryanair has already started communicating with Boeing about how these modifications can be made. Their rationale sounds familiar. Company spokesperson Stephen McNamara stated that the company is seeking to "change passenger behavior" to use the restroom before or after the flight. We all saw how quickly the major airlines started charging for all checked baggage. Now almost all airlines are charging for the peanuts we used to believe were a staple of every flight. How long will it take for larger companies to conform to their smaller competitors practices?
The issue has captured the attention of U.S. Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood, who is vowing to "hold the airline's feet to the fire." Senator Charles Schumer, D-N.Y., has also pledged to introduce legislation against fees on carry-on items. This may seem like a minor issue for such high-ranking politicians to be addressing, but there's no end in sight for these fees. It has surpassed simple self-preservation in an industry facing difficult times. The airlines have turned to active deceit, and that, I believe, warrants an end to their honeymoon of deregulation.
There is no altruism to be found in Spirit Airlines' and others' fees. The game is all about lowering the initial fare to be competitive with other airlines and increasing secret fees to compensate. The airlines are blatantly lying to us, which I find unacceptable no matter how much the industry is struggling. What we need is a BDSM campaign against Spirit Airlines. No clever marketing scheme there. I just want them to experience what their ridiculous fees make us feel like: bound and gagged.
