'10 Girl: Yesterday, I booted in the daylight. On the Phi Delt porch. On the dog.
'12 Girl: I should have had coffee instead of vodka this morning.
'10 Psi U 1: You haven't been hanging out at all, bro.
'10 Psi U 2: That's not true, I hung out all the time at the beginning of the term.
'10 Psi U 1: Bro, you don't get rollover minutes for hanging out.
'12 Girl: He wasn't paying attention to me, so I danced on a table.
History Professor, mid-2A:
I just threw my lecture in the trash.
'10 Kappa to legion of Kappas over lunch: So last night I got paid $100 to punch a guy...
Legion of Kappas: (Laughter)
'10 Kappa: (through laughter) ...Yeah, it was so much fun I punched him again!
'11 Tri-Delt 1: This was the best green key weekend ever!
'11 Tri-Delt 2: Says the girl who got punched in the face at AD!
'09 KDE: Why would I booty call him when I can still call EBAs?
'12 Girl 1: Wow, I haven't been to Chi Gam in so long.
'12 Girl 2: Last time I went to Chi Gam I lost my coat.
'12 Girl 3: Last time I went to Chi Gam I lost my virginity.
'10 Chi Gam: Are you going to the TDX pig roast?
'10 AD: No man, I really have no interest in watching Kappas standing around licking their fingers for four hours.
'10 AD: Why are you so upset?
'10 Girl: I was supposed to get a package in the mail today!
'10 AD: I'll give you a package from a male today.
