'12 Girl: I'm such a classy chick!
'12 Boy: I'm such a drunk chick!
'10 Girl: Guess what my favorite phallic symbol is [holds up SmartWater bottle].
They're so long!
'11 Girl: I just walk into class and think, 'Wow, these people don't know I have
webcam sex...'
'09 Guy, after doing a whippit: Oh man ... for a minute I forget how unhappy I was.
'12 Girl 1[on Diwali]: The lights on the green look so nice!
'12 Girl 2: Yeah, I didn't know this school went all out for Halloween!
Girl 1: I don't know if people would get offended by that costume. I don't know
if it's PC.
Girl 2: Well as long as you are a cute Pocahontas I don't think anyone will care.
'10 Guy: If you were a vegan and you were a butterfingers, does that mean you
couldn't lick your own hands?
'10 Girl: 'I'm so sweet I don't even need to study.' You should depledge and go to
Theta Delt already.
'10 Girl: What?! Theta Delt?! I'm no AD reject!
Harvard girls club soccer player to Dartmouth player who had a hand on Harvard
girl's back during a game: That's not classy, and at Harvard we're classy.
'12 Girl at Heorot: Hey, my name is [redacted], what's yours?
'11 Heorot: Don't tell me, I want to keep this anonymous.
'12 Girl 1 [walking in rain towards Heorot]: It's an effing river out here!
'12 Girl 2: We're so sleeping at Heorot.
'09 Girl: PROMISE NOT TO BLITZJACK ME? PROMISE? All right ... I just have to go
to the bathroom ... I'll be right back ... promise!
'12 Girl: So how was your first game of pong?
'12 Boy: I did really good. I got a hole in one!
'09 Girl [on Collis porch]: I'm always really hungry. Mostly because I don't eat.
But then I have some craisins.
'11 Girl: I mean, not going to lie, the faucet bruise is worth it.
Student pollster: Do you mind if I ask you who you're voting for for president?
'09 Guy: Jimmy Wright.
'11 Guy: My GPA is going down this term, unless I bang my professor, which sucks
because she is ugly as hell.
'10 Girl [in despair]: Why did I swallow?!
Guy 1 [1:30 a.m., First Floor Berry] : Wait ... are you the kid that touched the
fire?
Firetoucher [with two bandaged arms]: Yes, that was me.
Guy 1: I can't believe this, you're a legend, I can't believe I'm meeting you.
Firetoucher: I didn't do it on purpose though ...
Guy 1: SHUT UP. Don't tell anyone that, ever. We think too highly of you.
Firetoucher: Hah, OK. What's your name? [Holds out bandaged hand]
Guy 1: [Refuses hand] No, no -- you're a legend. This is unreal.
'12 Guy: Don't you think that "douche bag" is an onomatopoeia?
'12 Girl: Guys at Dartmouth don't know how to dance -- they just hump you!
'12 Guy: He doesn't manhandle, he boyhandles.
'09 Theta Delt: I'm so disoriented. Which way's Panarchy?
'09: TOUCH THE FIRE!
H-po officer: Don't say that.
'09 [to the '12s]: YOUR FATHER DOESN'T LOVE YOU!! [to the H-Po officer] That's
okay, right?
