One time, I was really drunk when I came home, but I needed to take my birth control pill. But when I took it out, the pill fell on the floor. I figured I could feel around for it, so I didn't turn the lights on and eventually I found it and took it. When I woke up the next morning, I saw my pill lying on the ground. I have no idea what I ingested.
-- '11 Female
One time I licked my dog because I thought maybe she didn't understand what human kisses were.
'11 Female
When my brother and his friend were having a sleepover, his friend came into my room in the middle of the night and we hooked up. After, he went back to sleep in my brother's room and my brother never found out.
-- '10 Female
One time I tasted all of my shampoos.
-- Female '11
My parents, shelling out $50,000-plus a year for my education, expected me to become a model Ivy League student - get good grades, take on responsibilities and take full advantage of what's being offered. Then came the phone call the day after matriculation. "Hey, Mom ... I got into a bit of trouble."
Only hours after becoming a Dartmouth student I was apprehended by H-Po and S&S in Brittle lounge, very high and making some mac and cheese. Granted, I was sold out by people I had smoked up, yet still. The parents were not pleased. So I feel guilty, Mom and Dad, taking your hard earned money and proceeding to f*ck up so soon. I'll (try to) do better.
- '12 Male
I feel guilty for making up ridiculous white lies to friends or new people to impress them, especially when those lies are then believed.
I feel guilty for ditching good friends for social icons and facetime.
I feel guilty for not helping friends with moving or editing their papers when I had the time but was just lazy.
I wish to atone for pretending to ignore my ex-girlfriend and other douchey things to keep in our relationship.
I feel guilty about copying problem sets, and pretending to be more prepared than I was for jobs and internships.
I feel guilty most of all for not telling people who deserve to know exactly how I feel and telling all the people who are important to me how much I love them.
--'09 Male
I once told my parents I was staying at my friend's house for the weekend and drove to North Carolina. From New York. To see a boy.
-- '09 Female
I scratched the front bumper of my black car about two months after I got my license. Instead of just telling my parents (who really wouldn't have been mad, since I was not doing anything dangerous like talking on my phone or speeding) I called my boyfriend at the time, who had an after-school job detailing cars. He sanded down the scratch and re-painted it. Over time, the paint he put on lost its shine, so my bumper had about a square foot of dull paint. I always made sure to park my car on the right side of the driveway so my parents wouldn't have to see the right side of the car! They never noticed, although I did tell them when they sold it.
-- '09 Female
I feel guilty for using Yom Kippur to get out of 7:45 drill on Thursday. I'm Jewish, but if it weren't for the fact that I want to sleep in, I would totally go [to class].
-- '12 Female
I had sex in Professor [redacted]'s office in the basement of the Hop. I was very drunk and after having tried the Top of the Hop to check off one of the Dartmouth Seven and having been rejected there by a kindly S&S officer, I wandered around the halls of the Hop looking for an open room. Professor X's office was the first I found. I feel guilty because I do not lock the door to my room and would be appalled to find that someone had sex in my room. An anonymous stranger, no less. I don't know if he ever found the condom in the trash. If he didn't, I'm sorry he had to find out this way.
-- '11 Male
Yesterday, I was feeling particularly horny and so decided to vent my frustration out on the hapless '12 living beside me. I accosted her in the hall: "I heard you the other night." I then proceeded to regale her with my opinion on her loud performance, of which I was an unwitting audience the previous evening.
My closing argument was particularly spiteful: "The next time you decide to prostitute yourself to an under-washed miscreant frat boy, I suggest you keep it down. After all, we wouldn't want any Blitzes from the community director about 'maintaining a certain professionalism in the baser act clogging' our inboxes."
I could tell that my rant took her completely by surprise and that my reference to a certain dramatic incident that occurred in the East Wheelock Cluster was over her head. I confess that I was surprised myself at the eloquence with which I executed such a tirade on the spur of the moment. But, unfortunately, I burned a bridge with my spectacular display of vindictive, hypocritical pandering. I also feel horrible that she then went into her room and proceeded to cry, loudly and with gusto (these walls really are thin).
I am now wracked with the guilt of my actions. On a certain level, though, I feel that I have given her a valuable piece of advice. I could have delivered it with a little less zeal, but now at least she will try to be quieter with her paramours. I still feel guilty about it and hope that I might be able to, in time, tell her that I was having a bad day and was jealous of her good fortune.
-- '09 Female
I have a porcelain cat collection that I acquired from stealing from stores, playmates and my grandmother.
'12 Female
When I was in first grade, I was innocently playing with a Raggedy Ann doll (my teacher's favorite, natch) when I accidentally ripped the arm off it. I immediately realized the horror that this mutilation would cause, so I stuffed Raggedy Ann under the radiator. She was found three days later by Mrs. Sill, my teacher, who held her broken body up and asked for the perpetrator to come forward. I never did. This unfortunately was the beginning of a pattern for me. I still have three Roald Dahl books that I stole from my fourth grade teacher (who totally deserved it), and I routinely steal pens from teachers who tick me off.
-- Female '12
One time one of my friends was out of town, and there were four of us, bored and walking around town. We all knew where she kept her spare house key. We went over to house and let ourselves in and we left post-its all over everything. Really creepy post-its. We left a note on her computer monitor: "Found your gay porn, deleted it." On lotion: "Sorry for mess on bed, but this was useful." On panties: "Really helped with masturbating." Her mom found them and got all pissed but we never owned up to it. To this day she thinks someone broke into her house and was stalking her.
-- '12 Female
I feel guilty about listening to the Jonas Brothers non-ironically. Burning up with guilt. Burning up with guilt for you, baby.
-- '09 Female
I've always known that I want a family and kids ... some day. Like, not until I'm 30. I plan to live it up in the city until then, have a career and enjoy the perks of being single (i.e. free drinks, diamond tennis bracelets). So I've always been firm in my conviction that if I were to accidentally become pregnant, I'd have an abortion.
Only, there's one guy whose baby I'd find difficult to abort. We've been hooking up for over three years, on and off, and while he's certainly not the hottest or nicest (in fact, he treats me like crap!) guy I've hooked up with at Dartmouth there's something oddly appealing about having his kid. It wouldn't be an attempt to try and get him to marry me. I know his reaction would be, "Well, go ahead and have it, but 'eff you -- I'm not going to be involved in the kid's life." I even fantasize about being pregnant with his kid sometimes. I feel so guilty about even considering giving up all of my dreams. Thank God that he graduated -- and that the condom never broke!
-- '09 Female
I feel guilty about continuing to take birth-control pills even though I promised my mom to stop after her huge lecture on how it's unhealthy to mess with one's hormones.
-- Female '11
During the '12s' Dimensions, I lied about my class year as a prank. A certain prospie did not handle my revelation about not being a '12 in a very gentleman-like manner. He sent me a very forward text message that suggested I was obviously into him and that we should meet up to hook up. But it didn't end there. He stalked me and found me in a frat bathroom, where he proceeded to accost me, saying, "Girl, are you going to play me like this?" I tried to diffuse the situation smoothly by still encouraging him to come to Dartmouth.
I feel guilty for this, but I hope the little creeper didn't come.
-- Female '11
Last year, I had a paper due in one of my classes. I waited until the last minute to do it, pulling an all-nighter. My class was at 9 a.m., and the professor had been very insistent that he would not accept any late papers. Because I had an hour before class, I decided to take a nap. Of course, I slept through class. I did the only thing I could think of -- I went to Dick's House. Luckily, my all-nighter left me looking like crap, enough so to convince the doctors I was ill. They sent my professor a copy of the medical evaluation, and he let me turn in my paper with no deductions.
-- Female '11
